No really. Whose child is this?

A little before lunchtime, Ethan came up and asked "Can I have some lunch, mom?" So we had lunch. While we were watching a little post-lunch TV, he said "Can I sit with you, mom?" So we snuggled. And when I turned the TV off, he asked for some milk (a little less nicely, but more like his normal self). When I gave it to him he walked into his room, sat on his couch, and asked me to turn off the light. He was starting his naptime routine!! So I turned off the light, read him a couple of books (a few more than usual b/c I couldn't believe how good he was being), and tucked him in. All about 15 minutes early!

This clearly isn't my child. But if he's yours, too bad. I'm not giving him back.

Autism Awareness Month

April is Autism Awareness Month. I spent several years working with autistic children and I wanted to pass on a little tribute to their mothers, from one of my favorite authors.

Ode to Special Moms

(by Erma Bombeck)

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint, Cecilia.
"Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.
"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

15 min of play

On the living room floor: a bowling set, duplos, a firetruck puzzle, and a stuffed dragon. Now let me tell you about 15 minutes of playtime this morning.

Ethan asked me nicely if he could set up his bowling pins in the living room and then proceeded to stand them up very carefully. They weren't always in a triangle, but each time he stood them back up, he spent extra time making sure they were spaced evenly. (He's showing my random obsessive tendencies already!) After bowling, he moved on to the duplos. I now have a dog with a very large tail sitting on the couch next to me. Next, Ethan noticed his firetruck puzzle on the floor. It took him quite a while, but he did it! A real puzzle! All by himself! Finally, he "attacked" me with his dragon, then saved me. Because the dragon had scared me, he brought me some balls to make me feel better and then read me a story. What a cutie.

He seems to be growing up faster every day. I don't want to miss any of it, but I also can't wait to see what he'll do next!

Eragon - Two Thumbs Down

Let me start off by saying that I liked the book very much. No LOTR, but a good read. The movie on the other hand...I can't believe I actually finished watching it. I'm pretty convinced that the screenwriters never even read the book. They jumped through the story so much that it didn't make any sense. They threw in characters willy-nilly without explaining who they were or why they were important. Even though I knew the story, I was confused. They even changed the basic rules of the world!! And don't even get me started on the obvious changes they made simply to save money. (Human Urgles???)

So, don't see the movie. EVER. Not even if it's free and you're bored out of your mind. But do read the book.

GI

Somehow, I forgot to mention Ethan's appt with the pediatric GI. Besides the fact that we had to wait TWO HOURS to see him (he was on time until the patient before us!), it went great. He is in agreement that Ethan is most likely just adjusting to his genetics. So no more tests for now. But he does want to follow him for a while. And because he works closely with our regular pedi (he actually sees patients as a regular pedi himself at our office), he has learned to trust her instincts. So, just in case her gut is right, he gave me a list of things that he would want to know about right away and his personal pager number.

So that's it! Ethan's a healthy boy. My assumption is that if he continues to not gain weight the next step would be a close monitoring of his diet, rather than tests. Whew!

"I'm Stuck!"

Ethan's current favorite game is to be 'stuck'. It began as a game while we were holding him. We'd squeeze a little, he'd yell "I'm Stuck!", and then we'd tickle him or pretend to be the kissy monster. Now, Ethan will tuck himself into little places (or even pull things together to create little, tight places) and yell out for us. He is never really stuck, but it's just so dang cute!

So Tired....

I've given up on getting anything done this week. Between the couple of thing that I just can't ignore (dr's appts, eating, etc.) and the show, I'm pooped. We've had rehearsal every night this week, and the show opens tonight. Luckily, we cleaned the house for playgroup at the beginning of the week, so I'm just letting it go for now. Ethan and I are spending the mornings doing what we have to do for the day. Then, after we both nap, I shower and get ready for the show while he watches a movie. (If my hair didn't take so long, this wouldn't need to take hours!) Then I get dinner started so that when John comes home I can eat quickly and head out the door, not to walk back in for another 5 hours, most of them spend standing under the lights. My legs are going to give out by the second show on Sat! I don't know how those in shows with longer runs keep it up.

Actually, I'm loving this production. It's a privilege to be a part of it. But I'm tired.

Favorite Word

Our current favorite Ethan word is "camtpur". It means computer. We think it's extra hilarious because Ethan is usually very understandable and is good at big words. (He tells us things are delicious all the time.) I wanted to write it down before he figures out how to say it correctly and I forgot how cute it was!

Ethan's Best Friend EVER

Ethan told me today that Maggie is his best friend EVER. I have no idea where he even learned that phrase, but it's just so darn cute. To see his friend Mags, go here. It's an old video, but shows our favorite side of her.

EDIT: If you couldn't tell from the top video of Mags eating her birthday cake, we love to watch her eat. It's endless entertainment. Scroll down to the banana video. It's even better.

He did it!

He pooped on the potty! I should admit up front that it wasn't intentional. He started to go while in the tub, so John grabbed him and we wrangled him down onto the potty. Then he sat and we made faces at each other until he went. So regardless of how he got there, he did it!

We've been talking with Ethan about this for weeks. We have a little video and book that he loves and we even take him with us when we go. (He is always so proud that we did it.) So maybe we this was the kick we needed to get him on the toilet. Wish us luck!

And on to the specialist we go

Ethan had his weight check last week and I've been putting off posting this until I knew when the next step would be happening. He was exactly the same weight as before, meaning he has gained nothing in 8 months, and less than 2 pounds in over a year. His doctor said she just isn't comfortable giving him more time, just in case it is a big deal. So Ethan has an appointment with a pediatric GI in about 3 weeks. Both the pediatrician and I agree that he is probably just adjusting to his genetics and the GI won't find anything, but we can't risk the chance that we might miss something major. We're not worried, so no one else be.

Holy Sickness, Batman!

If you haven't read it yet, read this first. And then come back to read what happened from someone who was coherent the whole time, though not always present.

John came home from work on Friday pale, and not looking so good, but not horrible. So, knowing that he would get some rest before Ethan woke up from his nap, I went to work. Skipping the parts I was at work for, I came home when my mom called saying that he definitely needed a blessing, and maybe needed to go to the ER. I can't adequately describe what John was like when I got home, but I'll try. He was sitting on the floor, propped against the wall. He kept wincing and yelling out as waves of pain hit. And he was so exhausted that his eyes were only half open and he could only mumble. He was even brought to tears by the pain on several occasions.

I should mention at this point that not only have I never seen John like this, I've never seen him sick. He doesn't get sick. EVER. Needless to say, I was really freaked out.

I knew that, shy of making him more comfortable (which our great friends helped me do), there was nothing I could do for him. I spoke with the dr about options, but she agreed that this wasn't life-threatening, and he would probably be most comfortable at home. She did prescribe some meds to help with the nausea and help him sleep, but they wouldn't help with the pain. John finally fell asleep before we picked them up, so he never needed them. (Thank goodness! I didn't even want to think about giving a grown man a suppository!) So I just went to bed with him, calming him down every time the pain woke him up. It was a long night, but I managed to get a little bit of sleep, and John was nearly back to normal by morning. And now, on sunday, you'd never know it happened. (Except for all of the nasty laundry I'm still getting through!)

It was apparently food poisoning from a seafood salad. This is one of the many reasons I don't eat seafood!

Come to the Play!

For everyone who could feasibly make it to Boston, plan to come see this show! (Click on the poster to see a bigger image and to read the details.)

So Sad :(

I am sitting in the office listening to Ethan crying. We had friends over for dinner so he stayed up past his bedtime. He was easy to get ready for bed. Wanted to change into pajamas. Wanted to read a book. Even wanted to lay down and pull up his blanket. But actually sleep? No way! After we prayed and I held his hand for a minute, I got up to leave and he flipped out. I know that he will eventually calm down and climb back into bed to sleep. He'll even pull up his own blanket. But for now, I have to listen to him calling for me. I think it would be easier if he was just crying, but the pleading is rough. "Mommy, you need to hold my hand for a few minutes now." "Mommy, you need to hold my hand for a few minutes please." "Mommy, ...." You get the idea. So right now I'm sad. Because if I go in, it will be worse tomorrow. But I so want to go in....

Happy Valentines Day!

So I had big plans for you all. Ethan picked out cards, colored on them, and decorated them with stickers. He even decorated the envelopes. But when I went to get them in the mail, I couldn't find my address book. I know it's in the house somewhere, but I haven't found it yet, and it's a little late to send out Valentines Day cards.

Then I wanted to put an audio clip of Ethan saying "I love you berry much" here on my blog. Unfortunately I am not as computer savvy as I thought. So I will keep working on it. Maybe video would be easier.

I hope everyone had a Happy Valentines Day!

Fattening Up

I realize that we have relaxed, but anyone who hasn't seen Ethan recently my still be worried about his weight. He is still skinny, but you can't see his ribs anymore and his face has filled out. Even his arms and legs don't seem as scrawny as they did. His official weigh in isn't until the end of the month, but I wanted to pass on that he's just fine.

Babies

Yes, it's time for Ethan to have a baby brother or sister. We agree. We have felt that way for over a year. So for anyone wondering what we're waiting for, read this.

EDIT: If you read John's post first, I think it sounds like we are announcing that we are beginning to try to have a baby. Not so. We have been for nearly a year. Things just don't always go as planned. Sorry if you got excited.

Superpowers

Ethan's favorite movie is "Superheroes" (better known as 'The Incredibles'). We watch it everyday. His favorite character is Dash, the headstrong blond son with superspeed. He's the reason we "Run so fast" around our house all the time. Earlier this week, Ethan came up to me and said "Mommy, I need a superpower." Me too Ethan, me too. We've decided that being nice and helpful is a superpower, and that Ethan's kisses are his secret weapon.

Indoctrination

While shopping at Target last week, Ethan decided it was time to sing. I love it! But I started to get embarassed when he chose to sing "Scripture Power" at the top of his lungs. After a few dirty looks, I wanted to shush him. But then I stopped myself. Should I be embarrased? Or should I be proud? I decided I was more proud, so when he asked me to sing along, I did! (Quietly.)

I've become aware of a movement (at least in the section of liberal America we live in) to let your kids make their own decisions. Great! I'm all for it! But for some reason, this movement involves not forcing the decisions that you've made on your children. I am constantly shocked by the people who are not teaching their kids about their religion at a young age. They say they are waiting until they are old enough to decide on a religion for themselves, and teaching them younger would be indoctrination. WHAT??? If it's indoctrination, I'm all for it. I can't imagine anyone learning to make good decisions without a firm moral grounding. One that religion is wonderful at teaching.

As I left Target that day, I realized that I was proud to smile back at the people giving me dirty looks. I am glad that my son already knows that he can gain power from the scriptures, and wants to tell everyone else. At least when I let him make his own choices, he'll know which ones are the good ones.

A Few Changes

Made a few changes to the blog. Still trying to figure out what all these options mean. Tell me what you think.

Good visit to the Dr

Ethan has managed to get even skinnier in the last few weeks. With all the vomiting and the yuck, I'm not suprised. But even the Dr found the change a little shocking. You can see his ribs, his little baby belly is gone, and even with a diaper on he no longer has a butt. Seriously. I had to drop him back down a pant size so that they wouldn't keep falling off.

So, we still had this follow visit scheduled to prove that he could gain weight. HA! I decided to keep it so that I could see where we were starting from now. Suprisingly, he had gained enough before the sickness that he is back to the same weight. Good news. (He is skinnier because he added height.) We will still follow up in another month to actually prove he gains, and will still push protein and some extra fats, but no more stressing about it. Except that I miss his baby fatness.

Can't Stop Giggling

I am taking an online scrapbooking class (my big Christmas present) that is more about sorting so that usable photos and ideas are visible than it is about scrapbooking. So I've been spending most of my evenings with photos spread out all over the living room floor.

I just can't stop bursting out laughing!! Both of our families are hilarious! My favorite pictures this evening are of Hannah at about four years old. Ethan makes the same faces! I'll scan them in and post side-by-side pictures later.

So anyway... sorting through boxes and boxes of photos has been more fun than I expected. My abs were sore last night from laughing.

Why won't he sleep!!

Ethan has decided that he doesn't need naptime or bedtime. They get in the way of playing. He literally screams "I NEED TO PLAY!!!" when we put him down. We've tried just about everything. Finally, last night, we just left him in his room. He played for 2 hours. TWO HOURS! Then he slept in until 9am. Such a weird kid. But I'm a night owl, so maybe he's just becoming more like mom. I don't know. I like the sleeping in thing, but John and I miss our quiet evenings and it takes me hours to stop clenching my teeth after putting him down for a nap. Anyway, he's driving me bonkers! (And not helping my stress level AT ALL.)

Solid!

If you are easily grossed out, STOP READING!

The most exciting thing happened today. Ethan had a solid poop! After nearly a week of nastiness, it was a welcome sight. It means we're done with this. Yipee!

A Variation....

Ethan just started singing "Jesus is coming..to town" instead of Santa. What a cutie!

New Years Resolutions

I'm trying to focus on something other than Ethan for a few minutes. (He's doing marginally better. Check John's blog for more updates.) So here are my New Years Resolutions. Hold me to them.

1. Sing more - I've already started this one by joining a production of "Savior of the World". I didn't actually audition b/c of my work schedule, but I've performed with the music director before and she asked that I join the ensemble to help out the altos. So don't expect much from me the next 3 months. I'll be busy.

2. Stick to a budget - Not just make one. Actually stick to it.

3. Go to bed earlier - It's nearly impossible to get 8hrs of sleep when you go to bed at 1am. So that needs to change.

4. Read more - This one will be the easiest (except when Heroes and Stargate start back up again!)

We're back! But not so good...

We have been back from our vacation in UT for a day or so now. Most of our trip was great. We spent it visiting family and friends, and just relaxing. Nothing is better than that.

But then, Ethan started throwing up. We ended up in the ER for an anti-nausea shot. This was the day before we were scheduled to fly home. So we tried to change our flights. We tried for hours. We talked to many, many different people. We even told them that if they didn't change our flights, we would be taking a very sick and probably very contagious boy onto the plane. They simply didn't care. We ended up flying while Ethan had a fever of 103 and didn't even have enough energy to stay awake. So, we will never be flying United again, and we are telling everyone we know about it. They have the absolute worst customer service in the business.

So now that I've gotten that off my chest, how is Ethan doing now? Well, his fever came down at home. I think just being a home is making it easier for him. But he has switched to explosive diahrea. The one upside is that he is asking to sit on the potty! (We have to look for a silver lining somewhere. This has been miserable.) And it's now Sunday morning. He made it through the night without needing a diaper change, so that's a good sign. And when he woke up he was hungry and thirsty. Not sure if the improvement will last the day, but we are hoping and praying for it. Keep our little guy in your prayers. He really needs them right now.

The end of the day

Getting Ethan ready for bed can be trying on the best nights. He just wants to play! But after he's in bed, you can't help but love him. Once you leave the room, Ethan lays in his bed talking about the day and singing songs to himself. He never gets out of bed to play (even though his room is full of toys), just talks and sings. John and I just sit and listen sometimes. He's just so darn cute!

Something New

I know. It's again been too long. So, rather than try to catch up, here's something new.

I just finished "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. In this book, the US (and possible the world) has been completely destroyed, leaving only remnents of our current civilization. Few people survived the unnamed tragedy, and most have been driven to horrible things in trying to survive. The story is about a father and his young son, who was born after the tragedy. They are on the road, searching for hope and good people. As this father struggles to find food and warmth for his son, you can't help but dwell on what you would be capable of doing for your children. And the comparison between a man who remembers his life before, and a boy who knows nothing different is a striking undertone.

This was, hands down, one of the best books I've read in a long time. The images and simple discussions simply brought me to tears many times. And it is incredible well written. The ending is what you would expect, but it doesn't really matter. It's the journey that's important here.

My Great Provider

John's boss had a baby this last summer. So that meant maternity leave. During her leave, her son had colic. Since she's been back at work, he's had pneumonia and croup and who knows what else. The poor guy has just been struggling. And so has his poor mom. She's been trying to be at work as much as she can, but has used up all her vacation and sick time already. So this time, when her son was sick again, she decided something needed to change. No, she didn't quit. She just said she'd be taking a few weeks to let her son get really healthy. Way to go! I can't imagine how hard it is to split home and work life as a mom. (It makes me feel really lucky that I don't have to.) John said the best thing about it this evening (and this is why I'm posting). He said "She's the kind of person you want to work for. When she sets her priorities, her family is first." And he's the kind of husband I want providing for my family. His family comes first. I love this guy.

No Problems

All of the labs they managed to run came back normal. So rather than redrawing right now for the couple of very unlikely things they didn't get to run, we are going to wait. We have one month to fatten this boy up to prove that he's ok. What we are actually trying to show is that he doesn't have an underlying problem that is keeping his body from using the food he takes in. If he gains, we've proved there's nothing wrong. If not, it'll probably mean lots of tests that are much more unpleasant than a simple blood draw. So we're really pushing all that extra fat and protein! Keep our little guy in your prayers.

A 2yr Visit to the Doctor Means More Bad News

Ethan is 2! I love what John wrote on his birthday. Today, being 2 meant a visit to the doctor for Ethan. He's leaps and bounds ahead in his verbal and cognitive skills. Perfectly normal in his physical ones. The strange (and possible worrisome) thing about our boy is his growth. He spent nearly a year of his life off the charts for height and weight. He's now down to 75th percentile for height and 25th for weight. Not abnormal for an active kid with parents who were scrawny kids. But...

He's actually lost weight in the last six months. He weighs less than a pound more than he did a 12 months. He is getting taller, so we're not worried about a growth hormone problem like I had. But because he is taking in enough calories to be gaining more weight than that, we get to start the high fat diet and lab tests. What a laundry list of tests! A thyroid screen, iron studies, cbc, cmp, lipids, hormone levels, allergy panels, genetic screens, etc. I run these at work all the time, but it makes me sad that Ethan needs to have them done. They tried to draw enough blood for all the tests while we were in the office, but Ethan was too strong for us to hold still that long. He blew out a vein in his arm, so they are starting to test for the most likely issues. If they all come back negative, then we go back for more blood. If anything is wrong, then we go back to talk about what we do next.

The diet is disgustingly high in fat. If any of the rest of us ate like this, our cholesterol levels would skyrocket. They want me to add cream to his whole milk, use olive oil on his vegetables and pasta, push more meat, have him dip veggies in cheese sauce or ranch dressing and fruit in whipped cream, etc. She was particularly strong that I shouldn't feed him too many fruits and veggies. She wants to make sure that he gets the fat and protein he needs for growth. I'm disgusted just thinking about all that fat. But I'm going to make a grocery store run this afternoon. Yuck. Hopefully we only have to do this for a month or so.

Ethan isn't in a very good mood because his arm and leg hurt. (He got his flu shot too.) He didn't like the doctor's office before, but I think today will make it a much feared place. I'm pretty confident that he is just fine. Both John and I come from families that have big babies who often become scrawny little kids. But because it's such a drastic drop in growth, we are going to make sure nothing else is wrong. We wouldn't want to ignore it and later find out that there was a big problem.

I'll keep everyone updated as we know more. We'll have the first round of labs back by the end of the week.

Tithing

We had tithing settlement last night. The bishop had asked us to bring Ethan. Thinking it was silly, but knowing that he wouldn't have asked without a reason, we took him. And the bishop did it. He explained tithing in a way a two year old could understand. He and Ethan counted out ten pieces of candy. (They counted together. So cute.) Then he said Ethan could have them, but only if he gave one back. Ethan got it. He picked one up, handed it to the bishop, and grabbed the nine left. It hadn't occured to me to teach the law of tithing at 2, but now is a great time to start! We have a great bishop.

Hair-loss

Most of you have only known me with long hair. I can't really remember the last time it was short, but I'm pretty sure it was about 11 years ago, in high school. So I was a little sick of it. Two weeks ago, I made an appointment and had it chopped off. Literally. I walked in and said "I don't know what I want. I just want it cut off." And this amazing hairdresser, not only gave me a great cut, but also a lesson in how to use the natural curl. So my hair is short and curls into ringlets! I LOVE IT! It's really freeing to lose nearly a foot of hair. (Our camera is acting up (again), so no pictures of it yet. I'll get some from mom's wedding next weekend.)

Big Boy Bed

He did it! We'd backed off the transition from crib to toddler bed for a few weeks. Yesterday, John decided Ethan was ready and we took down the crib. Gutsy move, I know. But it worked. Bedtime took about an hour longer, with Ethan coming to his door and crying. John was great and immediately figured out what it would take to keep him in the bed. We had expected to be up several times during the night, but he did it. Once he was down, he stayed down. YAY! What a big boy!

Too long

It's been too long since I've posted. I know. I'm a bad blogger. I will try to make it up to you by posting some pictures. Yay! I uploaded photos going back to June, so I don't know when some of these are from.

He just never stops reading!

The new haircut (new as of august)

They just have so much fun together

Snuggling with mommy in bed

At the butterfly garden

On a Roll...

When I come up with something I want to tell you all about, but I've already posted that day, I usually put it off and then forget. Today, you just get to hear from me a lot.

Ethan's singing is just sooooo cute. He knows about half the words to "Teach Me to Walk in the Light" (or 'Teach me'), "Give Said the Little Stream" (or 'Stream'), and "Clean Up" (a song he learned in nursery, I don't know where it's from.) And he also makes up his own songs. Usually they consist of lyrics about trucks. Something like "garbage truck, garbage truck, garbage truck, dump truck, garbage truck...." I find myself singing and playing music more, just to get him going. It's just too cute. We need to try to catch him on video.

EDIT: The clean up song is from Barney.

Parrot with a memory

We have great new examples of Ethan's language skills every day, but I particularly like what I just heard. Ethan had been standing on the seat of his tricycle and then jumped, spreading his legs so that he landed standing over the seat. John said that he was a crazy man. Ethan looked over and said "Crasin mon." He kept repeating it until he got it right. The boy repeats nearly everything we say. And the best part is, we will hear it again later, usually in the right context!

(This was only a minute or two after Ethan said "I'm gnna ride my bike." So amazing!)

Family Resemblance

Ethan is constantly reminding me of my cousin Zach. He is a few years older than Ethan and one of the cutest kids alive. Several years ago, John taught Zach and his siblings to play 'Go Fish'. He was really too young, but we were endlessly amused by the many ways Zach could say, yell, or whisper "Go Fish". As Ethan has been learning to count, he'll whisper some numbers, say others, and always yells "SIIIIIIIIIIXX!" Loving this family resemblance.

EDIT: There are tons of other similarities between them. They are both such happy, fun-loving kids. They both would rather be running, jumping, and being crazy than anything else. They both have these heart-melting smiles. And they both have their moms wrapped around their little fingers. But this use of many voices is my favorite one.

Trees

Every time I drive down Rt 30, I'm reminded of why I love the Northeast. It's the trees. This particular road is like driving through a tunnel of trees. In the summer, the abundance of green makes me feel peaceful, invigorated, and puts a smile on my face. In the fall, the change to reds, yellows, and the occasional pinky orange is like watching a changing piece of art. In the early winter, the stark structures of the trunks and branches reaching for the sky are so complex and so simple at the same time. And when the snow falls, leaving each individual branch with a white frosting, I am simply in awe. Then spring comes, bringing new buds and the promise of green trees again.

Wherever we end up, there had better be a lot of trees. I simply can't live without them.

Almost...

Ethan is almost sleeping in his new bed. He's been jumping on it for several weeks now, and we've been talking about sleeping in the big boy bed. He'll even lay down on it on occasion, but we haven't really attempted sleeping on it until the last few nights. We took the chair out of his room so that he would get used to reading his book and such in bed. Today, John even tried to leave him there, but after several attempts, put him in the crib. When he woke up at 11:30pm (for no apparent reason), I went in and, not having a place to sit, put him into the bed. I sat on the floor next to him for half an hour, waiting for him to fall asleep. He was trying. Trying so hard. I finally decided to try leaving, and he got up and followed me. Because it was so late, and I was unprepared to do this in the middle of the night, he went back in the crib. But he didn't mind the bed. It was just new and different. No one sleeps well in an unfamiliar bed.

So we're almost there. I think we may try staying until he's really sound asleep for 3 or 4 nights, then gradually leaving earlier. It may mean planning to spend an hour or so on his floor, but we can do it. We'll just take a pillow.

Jabberwocky

One of our favorite poems. Go here to listen to our little 4 yr old friend. She is awesome. (Way to go Alissa and Matt!)

EDIT: I think she's actually 5. Sorry!

TV

So I've realized one of the reasons that John and I work so well together. We both agree that time to relax every day is really important. So after about 8pm, we don't do any more housework (unless we have visitors coming.) Our house is never perfectly clean, and sometimes the dishes just wait until tomorrow. But we are so much happier.

Lately, b/c the projects we've been doing in our relaxing time allow us to sit (mine is a christmas stocking and John's is writing), we've picked up a few new TV shows. We highly recommend Heroes. (For those of you overseas without regular TV, you can watch it online.) It's a new drama that is sneaking a little sci-fi into NBC's regular line-up. He he he. I'm loving it.

Not a Bad Life

I glanced at my posts for the last two months and was sad to see that all I mentioned was the hard stuff. Granted, there was more than I can handle thinking about all at once. But I missed all the good stuff.

There was great family stuff. Mom got engaged. Dad was sealed to his wife and her boys. Dorothy got married. And that's just the big stuff.

Ethan has just been a blast lately. We can have real conversations with him and he's becoming an independent little guy. He's exhausting to take out of the house now b/c I constantly have to chase him down, but he has so much more fun, so it's worth it.

John and I have been talking about when we need to leave Boston. It's an ongoing discussion and one that we've decided we don't like. Boston is not financially a good place for us, so we need to go, but we love it here. Our ward is amazing. Our jobs are ideal. We have great friends. And even with all the snow, this is my favorite climate.

All in all, we've got a pretty good life. As others have been suffering lately, we've been grateful that our happiness and stability has meant we could focus on helping them. So although my recent posts have made it seem as though life is really hard right now, we are actually doing great.

Who is this kid??

There is this kid living in our house. I don't really know who he is. He looks like Ethan, but he doesn't act like him. Ethan is shy and clingy. He doesn't like new people, or even friends, just mom and dad. In fact, he likes mom and dad so much that he won't even play by himself. He has to be involved in whatever we're doing, even if it means sitting on the couch folding laundry.

Not this new kid. He will spend hours running around the house, climbing, and jumping from ever increasing heights, regardless of what we're doing. He enjoys playing with other kids and doesn't shrink away from strangers. He even runs away while out shopping, off to explore new things and hide from mom.

We don't know who this little independent kid is, but we sure like him!

New words

John posted about Ethan's language explosion. He really is learning probably 50 words a day. It's crazy. But it's lead to some fun discussions. Yesterday he climbed into my bed, tucked himself in and said very emphatically "I don't see cats!" I responded that I didn't see any cats either. He said "I either! I don't see cats!". This went back and forth like this for a few minutes, all while I was laughing harder and harder. It's even funnier when he whips out big words. And we've learned that we not only need to keep our language clean (not so hard), but that we need to keep it nice (harder than you'd think!) You never know who Ethan might repeat your words to!

Not all Bad

Ethan said two things today that are so great. This morning, he picked up a block and said "twiangle". He was right! (Thanks Blue's Clues!) And just a little while ago, he was saying "two pen". I looked over to see that he had picked up the two pens on my nightstand. I've been asking him every few minutes how many pens he has and he says "Two!" He's very proud and so am I.

A Hard Day

It's 10am and already I want this day to be over. One of the women that I have direct responsibility for lost her baby this morning. She has been on bed rest for longer than I like to think about, and at 27wks gestation, delivered a baby that couldn't be saved. It takes three hands to count the number of babies she's lost, but this one was the oldest, and the doctors said that a baby born now had a good chance. As I spend the morning alternately on the phone and on my knees I am again so grateful for my wonderful husband and my healthy son. I just wish that this day would end sooner.

My Strength

Lately, I've been so grateful for John. When I've seen couples suffering from loss and trials, I have been constantly reminded of a post I made months ago. I can't imagine how I'd live my life right now without John, much less through these larger trials our friends are facing. I am so blessed to have him.

I Love You

Ethan won't let John finish the bedtime routine until I've come to say goodnight and give him a kiss. Tonight, he said "I Love You" back to me. It's the best feeling in the world.

Blessing in Disguise

Our ward has had more than it's fair share of heartache and pain recently. And several of the families still need almost constant care. As I've been serving these sisters who are struggling with loss, spending every possible moment at the hospital with a suffering child, or trying to maintain a good attitude while confined to a bed, I've been so grateful. Not only for our family's relative peace, but for the opportunity to serve. It makes my burden seem so much lighter. It helps me to refocus on what's truely important. Spending my days crying with, praying for, and serving other sisters has helped me remember why I am here, why I chose this life, and where my strength comes from. And for that, I feel blessed.

Proud Father

I must be the most proud father in the world. I was getting ready to give Ethan a bath on Friday and put him on the potty, like I've been doing the last few days. Except that this time he actually went! I clapped and cheered him on so that he would know that this was a good thing.

He was very proud of himself too. And then he reached back and flushed the toliet. Which is another thing that he likes to do.
((I know Mia already wrote about this tonight, but I got to be here for a first with him. I was so excited))

Also, his vocabulary has been growing so fast. He is really repeating alot of what we say now days. I guess we'll have to clean up our language 0_0

EDIT: See John's blog, which is where this really should have been.

"See ya pee"

That's what Ethan says when he flushes the toilet, after he PEES IN IT! Ethan started peeing in the potty on friday and hasn't looked back. He still doesn't tell us when he needs to go, but we've started asking him on a regular basis and he went 4 times today! Plus, he seems to be holding it until we make it to the potty! We couldn't be more excited!!!

Loss

John mentioned the death of one of Ethan's playmates. He was about 6 weeks older than Ethan when he was hit by a truck. I did want to make the correction for John that he didn't run out into the street. He was standing next to his mom, waiting to get into the car. A complete accident that no one could have prevented.

We've been reminded of how precious every second we get to spend with Ethan is. And of how glad we are to be sealed as a family. That we will be together for all eternity, even if our time here on earth is cut short.

6 years

Our 6th anniversary was Tuesday. We've made it past 95% of Hollywood marriages, so we must be doing something right! I don't think we did anything for our 5th, so we decided to at least get out of the house for this one. We decided on a picnic on Boston Common. There turned out to be a play on the common that night, so I sat to watch it while John ran over to PF Changs to get our take-out. The play was HORRIBLE! So after eating we didn't stick around. We walked over to the pond on the other side of the common and watched the swans and ducks. It's so nice to occasionally get away from all the immediate needs of the house, be able to look back at what we've done so far, and think about the future. We realized we've been saying 'just one more year here in Boston' for about 6 months now, so we need to think about what comes after Boston for us. Yikes! Here's to hoping that in another six years we're feeling more settled.

The Potty

I know that people think I'm crazy to consider potty training this early. Most boys aren't trained until they are well over two years old. But I don't want to change diapers for that long, and Ethan's a smart kid, so I don't see why I should wait.

We've been teaching Ethan the words he needs for a while. Then we let him come into the bathroom with us. Once he started telling us what we were doing, I knew he was ready. So today I took his diaper off, waited for him to tell me about peeing, and then asked if he wanted to sit on the potty. He sat there for 5 whole minutes! He didn't go, but he was talking about it the whole time and wasn't afraid of the toilet. I'm so excited!! We've got four months until he's 2, and I think we might be trained by then. Wish us luck!

(Just a note about Ethan's fear of everything. He ran through the tunnel of water at the spray park ALL BY HIMSELF!. I was jumping up and down and cheering, making a huge fool of myself. It was great.)

How old is he??

Ethan says "I'm twee" when asked how old he is. (He also holds up one finger and laughs.) Some days, I'm conviced he really is three. We've discovered that Ethan knows words like 'pirates' and 'slide', and speaks only in complete sentences. He's not just repeating sentences that he's heard. No. He understands what each word means and shuffles things around to say exactly what he wants to. Really, as he approaches two, (I KNOW! TWO!), learning so many new words is normal. But Ethan's understanding of sentence structure is a sure sign that Ethan is a product of his nerdy parents. (My extended family will probably point out that all babies born in the G family are super-smart. It's in the G genes. And John's would mention that they have their share of nerdy genes too.)

Primary Secretary

Wow! I forgot that being a secretary in any organization of the LDS church means you are soooo busy! My first time, it was in the Relief Society. Granted, that president was a flake about keeping track of anything (I've never known anyone who was so loving, and so in-tune with what our sisters needed, though). But it was soooo much work! This time, I have the downside of not having served in the Primary before. I haven't been in the Primary since I turned 12 and officially graduated from it. I had no idea what I was getting into! I'm lucky that it should only require me to do things two days a week, once we get going. But because we are still setting up a new presidency, rearranging the way we run things, and dealing with the beginning of our fall influx of new families, the president and I email several times a day, calling if we need to brainstorm a little more. Hopefully, once the presidency meets and settles in, it'll get easier. We haven't met yet b/c we are still missing a 1st Counselor! (Although the 3rd, yes, the 3rd, is already gearing up to help ease the load of our HUGE primary.) If we aren't complete by next week we are going to meet anyway so that we can at least get everyone's responsiblities hashed out. Then maybe I won't walk around all day getting flashes of things I need to do (or wonder who needs to do them.)

I know this all sounds absolutely nuts (especially if you're not LDS), but I am LOVING it. I am in my element. Secretary callings are by far my favorite. So, my life just got crazier, and all I have to say is "Bring it on!"

Trucks

When Ethan woke up from his nap today, he stood at the window for nearly half and hour telling me about the trucks driving by. This was so amazing because of the complete sentences! He said "I see the truck!", "There is the truck.", "Where did the truck go?", and "Where is the truck?"!!!!!!!!!!! The most incredible part was that he wasn't leaving out a single word of those sentences. Every 'is' and 'the' was there. SO SMART!

More Vacation Pictures

Hanging out on the swing with the Great-Grandparents

So many gorgeous pictures from their backyard!

Loved the trampoline at Mariah's wedding reception. He saw a girl doing flips and was trying so hard to do one by throwing himself down and rolling around. So cute.

Ah. Dominos at the grandparents. A much anticipated part of the vacation.

And this was our day out with some Avlis players. (Read "John is a gaming nerd") We had lots of fun and a great dinner. Even Ethan made some new friends.

Alright. I've got work to do now (I'm the new Primary Secretary! Scary!), but I promise more pictures tomorrow.

Growth

We had Ethan's follow-up visit with the pediatrician today. Just in case you don't remember, last month was his 18 month well-baby checkup where they found he hadn't gained any weight, and more importantly, hadn't grown any taller. So we've been pushing a variety of proteins and making sure he had a little more fat in his diet (he used to be such a healthy eater, now he eats like us.) At this appt, he'd gained a pound and grown 3/4 of an inch. IN A MONTH! (That's alot for his age b/c their activity level usually keeps their growth pretty slow.) Apparently he had quite the growth spurt. No more worrying. YAY!

She also commented that he is so intelligent. He calmed down as soon as I told him he wouldn't be getting any shots. And he tried to tell her that he was three. She agreed that he seems almost three. He's been learning nearly a word a day and is forming nearly coherent sentences (meaning we can tell what at least two of the words are!) What she didn't get to see is how helpful and obediant he is. Granted, he is still a toddler and often doesn't listen, but only when he knows that he is in a safe place. Most of the time, he listens very well and helps to do chores and clean up his messes. He even knows that he can't go off the porch unless he is holding my hand, so he will stop and wait for me. What a cute guy! So easy to love.

As promised....

We are in the middle of the 3rd "SUPERSTORM" to hit the northeast this year. It sounds cooler than it is. The first two caused flooding. Who-ho. Although this one did have golf-ball sized hail and an unconfirmed tornado sighting yesterday. We are high enough to not worry about flooding (unless we get hit by a tsunami when La Palma collapses), and the hail was in NH, so we just worry about big lightning storms. The point is, we are stuck inside yet again and I had a little time to download the pictures!! Yay!!

Getting ready for his first plane ride!

Picking fresh sweet peas

Eating sweet peas with mom under the orange tree

Loved those peas

Hanging out with Great-Grandpa

More to come later!!

Dancing around the world

I know. I promised pictures. But they're not on the computer yet. So you'll just have to wait.

I did just discover this little video. More for fun, but strangely inspiring. I still can't really figure out why. Maybe it's seeing so much and still enjoying it enough to dance. (I tend to be a cynical traveler.) Or maybe it's simply that he managed to do something so cool without setting out to (at least the first time around).

Anyway, it makes me want to be less cranky about life. And that's enough.

On Vacation

With our vacation nearly over, I thought I'd use a little of this lazy day to update everyone.

We spent 5 days in Cali with John's grandparents. Grandpa LOVED Ethan. Most days we hung out in the back yard, eating sweet peas and strawberries from the garden. But we did hit the beach (apparently the Pacific is not always warm) and visit with friends. All in all, it was better than we thought!

Now, we are ending our week in Colorado. John's sister had Ethan's 1st cousin a few weeks ago, so we are in a house with them and John's parents as well. A little cramped, but we all get along, so it's not so bad. (It would be better if we could sleep in the same room as Ethan. We wake him up when we just roll over, so he has been sleeping in the nursery while we are on the living room floor!) We've seen lots of family while out here, but the best part was our weekend away. John's parents agreed to take the boy for a few days, and we went to a hotel in Denver for a little getaway. It was WONDERFUL! No getting up early. No toddler schedule. Plenty of time together. Besides just lazing around, we drove out to Dinosaur Ridge and hiked around to the sites. Really interesting. And we had dinner with a newly married college friend. We need to get away more often. It was good for us.

Anyway. We'll be back to real life in a few days and I will put up some pictures of the trip.

So Chatty

Ethan has suddenly started picking up new words. (Finally!) But never ones we expect. He says things like "See ya" or "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle". He even started singing the right words to a song in the car today! We were listening to an old tape of 'The Monkees' and there is a song that goes "I..I..I..I..I'm not your stepping stone". Ethan usually sings the I's and dances along, but today he said 'stepping stone'!!!!!

This bodes well for potty training as he seems ready, but doesn't have the words he needs yet. YAY!!

And for those of you who it matters to, we will be in California for the next week, and then Colorado the week after. If we don't see you out there, we will see you when we get back! I will try to post some pictures of Ethan at the beach, with his great-grandparents, with his new baby cousin, etc.. while we are gone if I can.

Bedtime giggles

John is getting Ethan ready for bed. I don't know what's going on in there, but they are having fun. Hearing my two favorite guys burst into giggles is the best sound in the world.

My little Missionary

We were listening to InsideOut's Primary Colors album today when the song "We'll Bring the World His Truth" came on. I suddenly had this vision of Ethan as a missionary and couldn't stop the tears. I'm already so excited. I already miss him. I know that it's more than 17 years away, but it seems to be coming so fast! I have been watching him and can see his potential. He will be great. I'm tearing up again as I think about my little missionary.

John's Father's Day Present

I've been working on a little scrapbook for John. I think I've mentioned it. (But before I show it off, I need to give credit to Lisa Bearnson for designing the kit I used, and SEI for all the great supplies in the kit.)

OK. I scanned in the pages, pulling out tags so you can see what's on them. (I wish I could make them bigger so that they're easier to read, but free sites have their limitations.) They will be in a few posts, but I will set the times so that they are in the right order. And I brushed out a few names for safety sake. Enjoy them! I sure do.

cont...

and more...

finally...

Happy Father's Day!

Yay for all the dads!

Loving this

I'm a work and bored. So I've been reading blogs and poking around. Found something so fun. I am LOVING this T-shirt! Although it would take some guts to wear it in public, I totally need to get one the next time I'm nursing.

My UNorganized Home

I discovered a website yesterday that has gotten me in the mood to organize. (For those of you who don't know, I LOVE to organize things. Not that you could tell by looking at my house.) The site is www.organizedhome.com. I am going to start by making lists! What else. Actually, I'm making a binder that will have things like a calender for the week (that includes the schedule, chores, and menues), a to-do list, emergency numbers, a general phone list, freezer inventory, etc. I know that it sounds ridiculous, but I am excited to structure my life a little more. It's hard to get things done when it all becomes overwhelming. When I have to just pick what's most pressing, things tend to wait until they are disgusting before they make it to the top of the list. It will be nice to know that I can ignore all the other chores because they will get done another day. Here's to hoping this works!

"I no no"

That's how we all said "I don't know" at my house growing up. Ethan was saying something similar until just a few days ago. Now he doesn't say anything, just shrugs his shoulders! If we ask him where something is,he just looks at us and shrugs his little shoulders. Even if he knows. It's the cutest thing EVER!

Bad Days

It started yesterday with me already suffering from a miserable sinus infx. One of those ones that makes you soooooooooo sick, but doesn't seem to be bacterial, so you only get to fight it with Sudafed and Nyquil. Yuck.

So then Ethan and I headed to his 18-month well-baby check. All was going well until the doctor glanced at his height and weight measurements toward the end of the appointment. Ethan hasn't grown AT ALL. He's not any taller, and he has only gained 1 ounce in 3 months. His Dr isn't really concerned yet, but now we have to push more fatty food and take him back next month. If he still isn't gaining, then we get to start the testing. We are hoping it's a combination of growing into his genetics (both John and I were scrawny little kids) and his activity level.

And then the best part happened. Not 5 minutes after we'd arrived home, I leaned forward and my back started to spasm. Not a little twinge, but full out muscle spasms. John had to come home from work, and I spent the rest of the day trying to find a position that wouldn't set it off again. No fun at all. After only an hour or two I was so sick of laying around, I kept trying to do things and ended up hurting myself more. Anyone want to trade backs? PLEASE!!!

That was yesterday. Today we started off with the same. Me with my sinus infx and still some back pain. I sent John to work. Ethan decided to react to the immunization he got at the Dr's. We are hoping that Benadryl will take the swelling and itchyness down. But the nurse said that if it hasn't improved at all by this afternoon, we will need to go back in. (I only have one kid and already the dr's office is our second home!) I marked the swelling so that we could tell, and hopefully it will be Ok. If it doesn't go down it's probably an infection. Yuck.

And today gets better because I have to go to work. And it's also my weekend, so I work the next two days too!! It's gonna be great, and will definitaly speed my healing time! Maybe I'll call out sick on Sunday.

I just want these bad days to be over

I forgot!

How could I forget??? The congestion was allergies too. So when we are back at the dr's for his well-child check-up, well talk about allergy meds. YUCK! I was hoping Ethan would get lucky like me and have no allergies. But with my family's history, and John's seasonal sneezing fits, I should have expected it. Such is life.

AH HA!

I've identified the cause of Ethan's rash. Ethan is allergic to his sunblock! So now we are on a quest to figure out which ingredient it is. I have a guess, but it's one that's in every single sunblock I can find. We are already figuring out which parks have shade at which times of day. It may be a while before we can find a sunblock that doesn't make Ethan all itchy, and we can't stay inside until then, so we are going to try to play in the shade and be outside for shorter spans of time. Allergies are sooo frustrating!

In a Good Mood

It's hard not to be in a good mood when running errands means you get to listen to Ethan singing along with the radio in the car. I doesn't happen often because he's still shy about singing, but when it does, it just makes my day.

Week 3 cont.

So we went back to the doctor this morning. He spiked a fever yesterday afternoon and screamed for an hour and a half until John came home from work. Apparently daddy is more of a comfort at the moment. (It's OK. Usually it's the other way around.) So while he was screaming, and I was attempting to calm him down and not burst into to tears myself, I scheduled the appointment. I was kind of obnoxious and got them to open up an appointment with Ethan's actual pediatrician, and not with whichever NP had an opening.

It was good. She checked him for pneoumonia, a sore throat, and rechecked his ears. No pneumo, no sore throat, and ears getting better slowly. We talked it out and decided that the congestion (which has caused all of the problem over the last few weeks) probably has an allergy component. So we are going to cut out the decongestant, give Ethan a HUGE dose of Benadryl before bed, and see if he still has a bad night. When I say HUGE, I mean he is getting the normal dose for a 6 year old. I'm just glad it knocks him out instead of making him wired.

So, hopefully this will be the end of our miserableness. Maybe we will get a solid night's sleep sometime soon! OH NO! I forgot. She also said she could see his molars coming in. So maybe we won't sleep. But I can dream, can't I?

Week 3 of the Virus

The first week we had all those crazy symptoms. Then, in week two, it seemed to be clearing up, except for a cough at night. The cough got progressively worse, waking Ethan up several times a night b/c his throat was so clogged with mucus he choked on it. But our days were fine, so we just gave him decongestant and hoped that it would pass. Sunday (the beginning of week 3), the mucus problem began to creep into daylight hours as well. After no nap that day, I decided to take him in Monday morning. Lo and behold, the mucus was creating yet another problem. A double ear-infection. So now Ethan is on an antibiotic, a decongestant, and a pain-killer. And he still sounds like he might cough up a lung. I can only pray that there is no week 4.

Random Photos

I just uploaded a batch of photos from the camera, so I thought I'd share a few. (I think that the first two are sideways.)

"Look Mom! I found the outside!"

I don't know what's so funny about that piece of bread, but apparently it was hilarious.

Tasting Daddy

Ready for a prayer

Taking the stairs

This is the sign he makes when he asks "Where is it?"

Having a lunch at the big table because the high-chair was not our friend that day.

What a cute boy we have!

Randomness

1 - I was just working on a little scrapbook about John. (I'm doing a set of four small ones to cover 2006. One about Me, one about John, one about our family, and one to recap the year.) It's fun to try to come up with a list of random facts about your husband (did you know John has an obsession with jackets and bags??) or try to characterize him with the 26 letters of the alphabet. It's surprising the little things that I don't really think about, but make up the person that I love. Try making a list of fun facts about someone you love. I guarantee it will make you smile!

2 - Ethan has a serious oral fixation. I kind of assumed it would go away by now! He not only puts literally everything in his mouth, he walks around chewing on his fingers all day. People always ask if he's teething. No. He just likes to see how things taste and what happens if he bites them. So gross.

3 - Ethan is getting so grown up! I cut his hair and in just a few minutes he went from looking like a little toddler to a big one! And he has new words every day. Everything from "Let's go!" and "Where is it?" to "I don't know" and "I can do it". Oddly, he has fewer single words.

4 - We bought a little slide at a garage sale today. After I cleaned it, we put it in the living room and let Ethan go wild. I think it was the best purchase we ever made.

Photos!

I finally figured out why I couldn't add photos to my blog. Now that I can, I will try to put in pictures of Ethan every so often. (Definiatly more often than John.) These are from a month or so ago, but are just the cutest! Ethan was eating macaroni and cheese when he decided that it would make great hair gel.

My John

A woman on 'A Baby Story' today said, "You never realize how much you can love someone until you hold your baby in your arms." Don't think that I'm a horrible mother, but I immediatly balked at that. As much as I love my son, I love my husband so much more. Maybe it's because Ethan is dependent on me, which gets exhausting, and I'm dependent on John for my sanity. But I don't think so. When I look at John, I not only see who he is, but who he has the potential to become. And because we are sealed, what we have the potential to become together. And when I look at Ethan in that eternal perspective, I'm glad that we have the opportunity to be his parents, but his potential will not be greatest simply as our son. So we will teach him and let him find his own partner for that. How could I love my son more than I love my husband? I can't. And that's the way it should be.

Filthy

I just got home from work. It's late, I'm tired, and looking at my house makes me want to cry. It is normally hard to get housework done with Ethan around b/c he gets in the way (on purpose, to get attention.) With him sick, ZERO housework has been done all week. That means that you can't go in the kitchen without shoes, we are all running out of clothes, the dishes are spread out along the counter, the carpets are developing a crust of goldfish and raisins, and all is in general disarray. I think it may take a while to get everything back to normal.

Luckily, our friend upstairs LOVES to clean. I'm not kidding. It makes her feel good. So good, in fact, that she has asked to come help! I know. You are all thinking that she is just being a good friend. But no, she really enjoys cleaning that much. You should see her apartment. So now that Ethan is on the upswing and we have some help, maybe walking into my house won't make me want to walk back out again.

Still sick and stuck at home

It's now Thursday and Ethan is still sick, but I think I see the end in sight. The rash cleared up everywhere except his face (and I think the face was maybe a different rash than the body.) The body rash appeared to be viral, as a cold hit in the middle of the night Sunday and kept us all from sleeping. Now it's the cold that's the problem. When Ethan is congested, he won't eat or sleep. He was so tired the last two days that he fell asleep on my shoulder twice! He doesn't do that EVER. And only having mucus, milk, and medicine in his stomach made him throw up the other night. Yuck. But it does seem to be improving.

My biggest complaint has been keeping us occupied while stuck at home. We would go for walks for fresh air, but it's been raining all week. I, like always, have plenty of housework I could do, but Ethan has just wanted to be held all day. It was cute for a while, but my arms are tired. We've watched nearly every disney movie we own, and I've banned Blue's Clues for a few days for my own sanity. This had better be over soon, or I'm going to make John take a vacation day so that I can get out of the house!

Our First Mystery Rash

Ethan doesn't get sick. He's like his dad that way. And on the rare occasion that he is, we usually find out about it by accident. (Like the two times he's had ear infections in both ears when we went in for well-baby check-ups!) He never seems to be really bothered.

But today, he has a rash. It apparently appeared friday and SOMEONE forgot to tell me about it. I discovered it on the back of Ethan's neck and on his arms when I gave him a bath last night. It didn't look too bad, maybe just a combination of dry skin and too much sun, so Ethan got all lotioned up before bed. This morning, the majority of the small dots are gone, but the ones that stayed are bigger, redder, itchy, and spreading! It's now on his face. And of course, it's Sunday. Today is going to be fun! Benadryl and oatmeal baths should hold us until the morning. If it's worse tomorrow, I'll take him to the doctors. If it's the same, I'll just call and make sure that I'm doing what I should be. If it's better, I'll be proud of myself!

Just as long as it's not a reaction to something. The only thing different about the last week was being outside more. Oh! And the beach. Maybe he's allergic to seaweed? Or mussels? (Both were washed up on the beach we went to.) Anyway, he's too young for allergy testing, so it would mean trial and error to find places he could play. Yuck.

I hope it's just a weird nothing. Poor little guy.

Playing in the sand

Yesterday Ethan and I headed up to the North Shore to pick up the last set of Ethan's professional photos. (I know, mom. We had these taken back in december. But there was a shipping problem and they needed to be reprinted. And then I had to find time to drive up there to avoid shipping them again. So now I have them. Leave me alone.) They are FANTASTIC! It's the set of 4, one from each session his first year.

Anyway, we were on the North Shore, not three blocks from the beach, so Ethan and I went to play for a while before heading back home. Can I tell you that he is so cute? We had so much fun running back and forth along the beach, finding shells, and burying our feet. And of course, I forgot the camera. We only stayed for about 30 min, but it was so much fun. I need to find a nice beach that is closer to home. Maybe Walden Pond?

EDIT - My mom wanted me to mention that it was the Mom in my head bugging me about the photos, not her. I nag myself way more than anyone else does!

Community

About two weeks ago, John and I were asked if we would help our ward's 'Lost Sheep' committee try out a few things. When it's our bishop asking, we always know that there is a specific reason that he has been directed to ask us. So we agreed, and got our assignments. 4 people. No luck.

But as I've been thinking about those that have chosen to leave the church, I've been practically smacked in the head by all the reasons to stay. And not the obvious that are most important in the eternal perspective, but the day-to-day things that the church and our ward provides. I think that I can sum them all up in one word. Community. There hasn't been a day in over a week that I haven't had things to do with members of the church. Some have been regular playgroups, a ward activity, a visit from visiting teachers. And some have been things that I've done with friends, a baby shower, a swim lesson we signed our kids up for together, an informal craft night, etc. I can't imagine having such a full life without this huge group of friends that are almost put in your lap. And I can't imagine chosing to leave it! I just feel so blessed.

Wa Wa

That's "Woof Woof" for those of you who haven't heard Ethan barking like a dog. He even sneaks an F on the end occasionally. We are also working on quacking like a duck!

A Good Hour

Ethan is quite a terror. He is so active, and has learned how to use chairs to climb to new hieghts. We have gone from rarely saying no, to saying it every few minutes. But on Thursday, we had a good hour.

It started after Ethan refused to eat lunch in his high-chair. He wanted to sit at the table. So I got out his booster seat and fed him lunch at the table. He was sooo happy. I even got to eat all of my own lunch! (I have pretty much given up on eating unless Ethan is asleep or distracted to avoid the whining and fits. Also, so that I get to eat more than 3 bites of a meal.) We sat across the table and ate. Ethan was swinging his legs and humming while he ate. So nice.

When lunch was over, the peacefulness continued. Ethan did so many cute things that I can't even remember them all. He danced around with Baby and his musical microphone. He helped me with the dishwasher and laundry. He even pushed around the Swiffer Flick-it, cleaning the living room floor! We played hide and seek. He told me a story. And the list goes on.

It was nice to have a good hour to make up for the week of craziness.

NO!

We don't really say "no" to Ethan. Our house is really baby-proofed, and he's a good kid. But we've had a hard time at church and at playgroup when he tries to do something he shouldn't. So Ethan has been hearing "no" a little more than normal lately. And he learned it fast! We now hear no as the answer to almost any question. He also says "yes" or "umm" in response, but he prefers "no". Even if he means yes, he says no. And it's the cutest little "no" you've ever heard!

Time to say a prayer

We haven't really been stressing that Ethan should participate in prayers yet, but he figured it out yesterday. We were playing, doing nothing related to praying, and Ethan stopped, folded his arms, and stared at me. So I folded my arms and said a short prayer. Ethan clapped and was so excited. This repeated three more times before Ethan's attention moved on to other things. Then, after John came home, Ethan tried it again with Dad. So, because it was monday, we had a little on-the-spot FHE lesson on prayer. Ethan even tried to close his eyes! Really he was squinting at us, but it was so cute. Eventually, the excitement of it all was too much and Ethan would yell and laugh during the prayers. Our little guy is growing and learning so fast!

He didn't cry???

That's right. Our little punk, whose been obnoxious for us, didn't cry when we left him for a day. Not once. We put him to bed friday night, and drove up to Maine for John's birthday. Ethan woke up saturday and spent the day with Grandpa G. and his family. No tears. It apparently took him a few minutes to decide that it would be ok, but that was it. What a weird kid. On the other hand, it means we can do this kind of thing more often! Woo-hoo!!

Now about our trip. We went up to Maine where I'd booked the suite at this quaint little hotel. We had dinner at restaurant out on the docks while a local band played upstairs and the dining room cleared, leaving us to enjoy a wonderful dinner alone. Then back to the hotel for the whirlpool tub (the reason for the suite). Skipping till morning, we slept in as late as we wanted and had breakfast at the hotel. Then out for some shopping! (This was actually John's idea!) We were hoping to make it further up the coast to walk along a beach, but John's jean hunt took quite a while, so we just hit a few other shops, had lunch, and headed back to our boy. It was so great to get away and relax!

OH! A few people have asked about our friend's little boy, so I thought I'd pass on the news. After the second dose of chemo, they couldn't handle putting his body through it, so they contacted yet another specialist for yet another opinion. (All the others said the same thing.) This one was in SLC and wanted to redo the scans, so they headed out about two weeks ago. The scans were CLEAN! No more spots on his little bones. They will redo the scans again in a few months to make sure, but our friends feel like they can start breathing again. And Ethan is excited that his friend is back in the game.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I could come up with excuses for why I haven't posted in a while, but the real reason is that Ethan is a toddler. And I'm exhausted. So let me catch you up on our little crazy man.

The Good. Ethan's vocabulary is growing. He loves that he can communicate, and gets soooo happy when we understand him.

The Bad. Quite often, we have no idea what Ethan is saying. His understandable vocabulary is much smaller than he thinks it is.

The Ugly. Tantrums ensue when we can't figure out what it is Ethan is asking for. And he has taken to biting me if he thinks I'm not paying close enough attention.

In general, Ethan is still a happy boy. But my patience wears thin on those days he decides nothing is going his way. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will pass. Eventually...

John's New Job

No, John still has the old one. But John has had a second job for a few months now, and although he thinks it makes him seem nerdy, I'm proud of him. So I'm sharing. (I may not be totally accurate, but I'll try.)

Not long after we were married John started playing Neverwinter Nights (Think D&D type game, set in a medieval world, with LOTR type characters.) About two years ago John discovered an online perpetual world based on the game. This world (Avilis) is huge and has innumerable ways for people to play, including simply standing around, having a conversation, but in character. John loves this. As he became involved in the human/elf war and helping other players learn things, John made a name for himself in the area he plays in most. He added to this by contributing several stories to the Fan Fiction site and writing a play that was performed in the game (this is a weird thing to imagine, but it was pretty cool.) Eventually, John applied to be a DM (dungeon master, effectively an overseer, keeping tabs on players and setting up quests and adventures.) Enough of the current DM's knew of him that he was quickly accepted. But this isn't the job.

John made quite an impression in this group. When one of the guys who keeps the site running (read: makes sure that the server space is payed for, usually through donations from players) wanted to start an online magazine about RPGs (role playing games), John's name was suggested. So John is now editor-in-chief for World Forge Magazine. This doesn't really make us much money, but it's great experience for John. He decides what goes in the magazine, edits some of the articles (he has an editing team to help out), and is responsible for making sure the magazine is ready to go each month. I'm so proud, and excited that John is doing something that he loves, and that I believe is the direction his career should take.

If you want to see what the magazine is about, check out WorldForgeMagazine.com (unfortunately it requires a subscription to read the full magazine, but John set up the front page so that you can get the idea.)

Pretend Play

At Ethan's 15 month checkup, the NP asked if he started "pretend play". I thought about it and said that he imitated us in play alot, but I hadn't seen him creating his own little stories yet. When she left to go make up his shots, Ethan sat on the table and talked to his doll. I watched as he cuddled it, rocked it, kissed it. When we came home, Ethan fed Baby some raisins (I later fished them out with tweezers) and gave him a wagon ride. I guess I hadn't realized that Ethan pretends all day. He's growing up so fast!

BTW. He was just under 33" and 26lbs. He's still growing steadily, but has come down to the 75th percentile. (Thank goodness.) All his developmental milestones are right on target, if not ahead. And he couldn't be more healthy. We have good friends whose son is one week older than Ethan. He started chemo last week. As we help them and keep them in our prayers, we are constantly reminded of the blessing Ethan's health is. We are eternally grateful for it.

I love my husband

John posted on his blog about the "new" bike his brother got when they were kids. As he was telling me about how he had been asked to not tell his brother it wasn't new, he had tears in his eyes. I love that he has memories (like mine) of the lean years when we would make do and try to not let the younger kids know that they were missing out on anything. And I love that he was even more emotional when he talked about doing the best we can for our kids. How can I not love this man.

Baby Talk

We've tried to be careful about not using baby talk. Let me rephrase that. I'VE tried to be careful about not using baby talk. Getting John to use real words is sometimes difficult. He usually just repeats what Ethan is saying (which Ethan loves), but it's hard for him to learn words when he never hears them. This isn't really what I meant to write about, but the situation taught Ethan an interesting lesson.

Ethan has discovered that people talk differently to babies. They usually speak in higher pitched voices and say nonsense words. I discovered that our boy was so observant when I asked him to get Baby (his doll). He immediatly raised his voice and made little noises while looking for it. When calling for Baby worked and he found it, Ethan picked up the doll and cooed at it. This baby talk has expanded to all dolls, stuffed animals, and occasionally his little people and horses (they go with his castle playset). What a cute boy!