Too Small

Today Edward said "Mom, you're too small for playground. You're too small."

Granted, the boy meant that I was too big and the playground too small. But it struck me that I haven't been too small for anything in quite some time. And that just seems weird.

Growing up, I was very accustomed to hearing "You're too small." It wasn't kids being mean. I really was too small for whatever kids my age were doing. Deficient growth hormone will do that. My mom rejoiced when I defied the doctors' predictions and not only made it close to 5 feet, but passed it during high school.

And I didn't stop! I'm a solid 5'3". Oddly enough, I'm still deficient. Could you imagine how tall I'd be if I produced normal amounts of growth hormone? I try not to think about it. I'm the shortest one of my siblings, and that feels right. Even as the oldest, I was always the little one.

That's why it struck me when Edward told me I was too small. I'm not too small. And I haven't been for years. Maybe it's time for me to change my mindset. I really liked being little. But if I could learn to enjoy being 30 (a whole post on it's own), I can learn to like being a normal size. (Height-wise at least. Even when I look thin, I'll never get used to the bigger number on the scale.)