Rain

It's been raining all week in our neck of the woods. From small showers to long thunderstorms to an exciting hailstorm. Did you know that I love rain?

I love the sound. The slaps of the drops as they hit. The rolls of thunder (that can go on for whole minutes out here!).

I love the visual. It's calming to watch, like the ocean waves. And although the sky is gray, it turns the grass and trees a brilliant green.

I love the nourishment. Our lawn is flourishing. (Remember how dead it was before?) Our trees are blooming. And our rose bushes are growing like weeds.

My Boys

As much as my boys get in the way of my desire to sit on my butt doing nothing, I can't help but love them.

Ethan has been so sweet lately. He's helpful and kind and says the most wonderful things. I hear that I'm cute several times a day, and he will always jump up to help me out as long as the request isn't ridiculous. I can't figure out why he thinks I'm so great, but he tells me all the time that he loves me. I must be doing something right! (Actually, I'm going to pat my husband on the back for this one. Ethan treats me the way John does. He's a great example to his boy.)

Edward is our clown. He's always figuring out new ways to make us laugh. My current favorite is how he yells"POOOOOOOP!" when he needs a diaper change. Most of the time everyone else gets in on it and we all crack up while yelling "POOOOOOOP!" (And there is the added bonus that he's easier to change when he's giggly!)

Can I mention my husband again? Not many husbands would be willing to be a single dad five evenings a week. Not only will John do it, but he'll be great at it.

I'm a lucky woman to have these boys in my life.

Obligation

Five rabbis recently visited Salt Lake City to visit LDS sites and learn about our church. The visited BYU, a temple that was open for tours, temple square, welfare square, and LDS Humanitarian services.

Afterward, they shared what they learned. Most of their comments are what I would have expected. They found more in common with us then they would have thought. They wanted to spend days at the Family History Center doing genealogy research. They were impressed with the organization of our welfare and humanitarian services.

But one comment jumped out and smacked me in the face.

Rabbi Isaac Jeret said "Volunteerism in the Mormon Church is about obligation rather than about choice. The choice is to become a member of the Church. But once one is, there's a sense of covenanted responsibility. One of the things we've lost is the sense that to volunteer is actually something that is an obligation, and to work — to do — is an obligation. It's really inspiring to see a community that has retained that core religious value."

I agree with him, but it's something I tend to forget. I made a choice to belong to this church. And with that I accepted an obligation to serve others. The majority of the service I render is through my calling and as a visiting teacher, but am I looking for other opportunities? Am I aware of the needs around me, or am I blinded by my own selfishness?

I'm going to mull this over for the next few days. And pray about it, obviously. There is something there I need to learn, but I'm not sure what it is yet.

A Job! A Job!

That's right. I'm going back to work full-time. Starting next week, I'll be the bread-winner around here. Same thing I've done before, in the lab, but at the central lab for a chain of clinics instead of a hospital.

We're excited to have some real money coming in again. And it will give John the chance to find the right job instead of something to just pay the bills and cover health insurance.

For those of you worried about the kids, I'll be working the 3-11 shift. I'll be home with them for most of the day. While John is contracting and job searching, he'll take over for me at about 2. When he needs to do something in the afternoons, or when he finally goes back to work, we'll only need to find babysitting for a couple of hours. So most of the time, the boys will be with one of us.

Honestly, as worried as I am about how I'll manage everything at home on this new schedule, I'm really excited. I'm looking forward to getting my hands dirty again. (Figuratively.) I've actually been feeling a little bit lacking as a mom. I'm not innately good at it and it's burning me out. The prospect of doing something that I'm really, really good at is energizing.

So that's the big news around here! I'm spending this last week of freedom getting ready. Making lists of easy and make-ahead meals that John can have on the table in under 30 minutes. Figuring out a new daily chores schedule for myself. Buying new scrubs. Finding out who would be interested in babysitting when we need it. (Anyone? We can't pay much, but our kids are fun!)

The transition is going to make for an interesting few weeks. Wish me luck!

Stinky Bacteria

John came home from his week-long innovator's road trip with some super-stinky clothes. Not dirty John stink. Anaerobe stink. (That's right you lab rats out there. This one's for you.)

One of the stops on their road trip was to a distillery. I'm not sure what innovations they were able to learn about at a distillery, but they did learn that making hard liquor is smellier than you'd think. Apparently, after the fermentation step, they need to clean the excess water they'd used. How, you ask? With anaerobes. The smelliest class of bacteria out there. I'm not sure how that makes the water cleaner...

John got in so late last night that he dropped everything by the door and went to bed. This morning when I sat down in the living room about five feet from the front door, I suddenly sat up and jumped into action. I could smell a nasty bacteria and I wanted it found and destroyed. I said "I know that smell!" And John replied "It's my jacket. From the anaerobe room."

Yikes! Needless to say, John's laundry did not wait another second. The suitcase will be disinfected too. I don't care if it's just the smell. I don't want even a single one of those bacteria in my house!

Stuck at Home

I've always considered myself a homebody. Typically, I'd rather be at home than go out. But not lately.

When we moved to TX, we sold our second car. We fully expected to buy another when we arrived, but ended up not really needing it. John had a regular ride to work and just didn't need a car. For the first time in many years, we were a one car family!

Now that John is unemployed, we have a problem. He spends most days meeting people, networking, going to events to meet other people, contracting, and generally being out of the house. It's great for the job search. If the market was better, John would be well settled in a new job already.

But it's not great for me. I've found that I liked to be a homebody when I could choose to stay home. To ignore the errands and invitations and just spend the day playing with my boys and making yummy things. Now that I'm stuck at home, I'm sick of being here. I'm sick of all the extra cleaning because we're always here to mess things up. I'm sick of the boys whining because they're bored and want to go do something. I'm sick of staring at the same walls everyday.

In Boston, at least we could have walked places. Moody street was literally a few steps away, with all of the fun shops and restaurants to stop at. The library was only a few blocks. And the train was close enough that we could get into the city without a car. (Not that I ever did, because I had a car. But I could have!)

Here in TX, almost nothing is in walking distance. The grocery store would be doable if there were sidewalks. But I'm not risking my boys lives by walking them along the edges of those busy main roads. And I don't need groceries!! I really want to go to IKEA so that Ethan can play in the kid room while Edward and I pick up some new measuring spoons. Such a minor errand. But it would help our day go more smoothly.

Oh! I'd better end this. I hear the whining from one and the mean voice from the other. I've resigned myself to yet another day stuck at home.

Edward During the Prayer

Everyone watches their kids during prayers, right? I love to see what they do. Tonight at dinner I got a particularly good show.

When everyone folded their arms, I glanced over at Edward. Usually, he's busy shoving food in his mouth. Not today. He pulled his little hands against his chest and scrunched his face down. Over and over during the prayer, Edward would pull his hands away, look at his palms, and then pull them back into position. Each time tucking his head down to look at his hands.

I could have watched him all day. Too soon the prayer was over and he moved on to eating. But I will never forget my sweet 14 month old son trying so hard to fold his arms.