The Scary Part

John decided to publicly break the news about his job last night. I was waiting to see how his interview goes tomorrow. But I told the whole Relief Society while teaching a lesson on Provident Living, so it's not really a big secret. (I've enjoyed your guesses as to what's wrong. Right now, I would rather be pregnant. Scary, right?)

So, John has been unemployed for two weeks. My first reaction was, no biggie. We've done this before. And he already had a jump on things with several interviews already scheduled. (He wanted out.) Then I started to look into it.

In the past, I was working. Not so this time. I immediately applied for every MT job available in the greater Austin area. There were 3. Apparently, even the hospitals and clinics are being hit hard. I'm still waiting to hear something, but I don't have my hopes up.

In the past, we didn't have kids. It's amazing how they add to every single bill. We would probably turn off the heat all together (it doesn't really get cold here) if not for them. We could live completely off of our food storage if they didn't need the whole milk and dairy for growth and neural development. And gas! Just getting Ethan places so that he still feels like life is normal drives up our gas bill.

In the past, we had savings to cover us for several months. This year, we moved, went to disney (which was unpaid time for John), and flew out for two family emergencies. Our savings account is pretty worthless at the moment.

That gets us to the scary part. We've never been in a place where we had no income at all and lots of expenses. Even cutting out nearly everything we can, we run out of money in about a month. I've been quickly learning about all of the government and private aid available. Did you know that the forms to apply for food stamps are horrendous? And that they can make you reapply EVERY MONTH if they want to??? I've discovered that there seem to be an infinite number of Medicaid options. And that the people at WIC are very nice. Biggest of all, I've learned that having zero income actually excludes you from some aid. Weird.

We have started to see little blessings. Like the notification that a medical procedure Edward had done way back in Boston was actually supposed to be covered by insurance. So we'll be able to get our money refunded. And the many people who heard and immediately called to say they had some food they wouldn't be using. (Seriously. We could buy only milk and dairy for at least a month.)

The big thing we're watching out for is lessons. Being in a position where we don't know how we'll keep a roof over our boys heads is opening our eyes. The stress is all encompassing and we feel like we understand the worries of others more. The sudden need to cook and eat as cheaply as possible, and stretch what we have, is forcing me to learn quickly. Overall, it is helping me focus my calling towards the immediate needs in the ward rather than planning for future problems.

(John's biggest lesson so far has been realizing what he's good at.)

So, we're hanging our hopes on a big interview John has tomorrow (tues.) He knows the members of the marketing team there, and (because of a tip from one of them) he was able to sit down with them before the job was even available to discuss what they would be looking for. Essentially, they're looking for John. As long as they don't have a candidate with the same qualifications but more experience, we think they'll have good news for us. We're preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best. Keep us in your prayers!

THWOMP!

It's late. And Edward woke up a few minutes ago. John immediately stuck his finger on his nose and said "Not it!" Man...

Edward was sitting up and crying. While I swept the crib with my hands I asked "Where's your pacifier?" Edward reached behind his leg, grabbed his paci, popped it in his mouth and THWOMP. Out like a light. I nearly burst out laughing.

He didn't need me at all. Except to remind him that all he really needed was his pacifier.

Walking Away

Wow. I don't know what's up with my boys, but they haven't been sleeping. Skipping naps, taking hours to settle down at night, and frequent middle of the night crying has created "The Crankiest Children on the Planet."

It's also created some parents who have a great desire to walk away. Last night, John finally did! After nearly two hours of Ethan coming out of his room, screaming hysterically when taken back in, and waking up his brother every time, John had enough. (I was spending the entire time working on a form for some government assistance. Swearing under my breath at the audacity of the government to create such a horrid form.) So John grabbed the iPod and walked out.

After 45 minutes or so, he walked back in to see Ethan out of his room again. It was actually kind of funny. Ethan knew how mad his dad was, so he just stood there. John knew he would explode if he opened his mouth, so he just stood there. Finally, John turned around and walked out again. When I called him a while later to tell him that Ethan was finally asleep, he was sitting in a movie theater waiting for the show to start. He'd walked all the way to the theater! (He was smart enough to call a friend for a ride home rather than walking in the middle of the night.)

When the kids woke up early this morning, John got up, fed them breakfast, then let them loose at my sleeping form while he showered and practically ran out the door. To sit at Starbucks and work in peace. So I'm left with the fussing, the crying, the whining, the clinging, the yelling, etc. It's only 9 am and I'm ready to be done. Can I walk away please???

Post Script: It's now 3pm and the day hasn't gone so badly. Both boys napped and they managed to play without fighting or whining most of the time. Plus John is on his way home. I guess I can handle sticking around for a while longer.

Currently Stretching

“I believe our spiritual strength is directly related to the extent to which our souls are stretched.”

Elder Alexander B. Morrison

Not Quite as Planned

"Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith. Nevertheless—whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day. Yea, and thus it was with this people. For behold, I will show unto you that they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God, yea, even the God of Abraham and Isaac and of Jacob."

Mosiah 23:21-23

Oddly enough, this is my favorite scripture. The very first phrase is one that's stuck with me for years. "Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people." We get extra trials because we follow Him. Or maybe, He wants to spare us the trials that would come anyway, but he allows them to come our way to strengthen us. To refocus us.

Yup. We're feeling it here at Casa De Boys. Life doesn't turn out rosy all the time. BUT, there are the other two verses. He's asking for our trust. Our faith. Our patience. If we give it, he will deliver us. Oh please, deliver us.

I'm intentionally not explaining because I'm not quite ready yet. We're all healthy. I'll put that out of your minds. This particular trial is one that isn't new to us. But it's so much scarier this time around.

Edward's 12 Month Checkup (at 13 Months)

I finally gave up on the first dr we tried here in TX and tried a new one. He came highly recommended, but we all know I can be a tad picky when it comes to doctors, so I didn't get my hopes up.

He was fabulous! Very knowledgeable AND good with kids. (You'd think most pediatricians would be good with kids, but I've found it to be a very rare thing.) He made Edward happy by climbing up on the exam table with him for the exam, and me happy by being incredibly thorough. Ethan will love the Spiderman pictures covering the walls in his exam room. I think we've found our new pediatrician!

Anyway. Enough about my doctor crush. You probably want to hear about Edward.

No shockers at this routine appointment. His weight gain has slowed down (surprise, surprise) but not drastically. At 22 lbs he's doing just fine. Time to cut out the bottles. He's walking right on schedule. Still sleeps like a champ. Talking WAY more than your average 13 month old. (We think he's up to 25 or 30 understandable words!!) Understands us incredibly well. (When I told him it was time to put his shirt back on, Edward leaned over, grabbed his shirt, and handed it to me.)

And of course, he got four shots. The regular two plus Hep A (required for preschools out here) and the flu shot I'd forgotten earlier. (Good thing the flu is just barely hitting TX. This weekend was the first batch of cases, in fact.)

So nothing surprising. A smart growing boy.

A gratuitous and fuzzy picture of our cute boy.
And yes, he does eat with a fork. Very successfully.

How do you say "Ball"?

If you're Edward, than most balls are "Bah". But not footballs. Footballs are "BAAAAAHHH! BAAAAAHHHH!"

Hee hee. This boy cracks me up.

Movies

John and I love movies. We rarely get to see them in the theaters anymore, but when we do, we try to go see something at an arthouse venue. An independent or international film. They're our favorites. (Plus cheesy sci-fi, of course.)

On friday night, we had family in town and they kicked us out of our house. For the whole night. We had a leisurely dinner with no kids yelling or running around. Then we went to see Slumdog Millionare . This was the best movie we've seen in a while. Afterward, we found the hotel, umm... did some stuff, and then took some Unisom for the best sleep we've had in ages. Thanks Grandma J and Mo!

A conversation I had with my brother on the way to the theater made me want to share some of our favorite movies that you've probably never heard of. In no particular order:

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring - This is our favorite movie. Really. Our absolute favorite. You have to watch it with no distractions. Soak it in. The use of silence is breathtaking. And the scenery... you just have to watch it.

Absolute Giganten - Unfortunately this isn't available in the US. We caught it at Sundance way back when. (If you live in UT and aren't taking advantage of Sundance, you are missing out.) BUT, you can watch the fooseball scene. You'll never see fooseball played like this again.

Quitting - Another Sundance find. This is a true story about a Chinese actor quitting drugs. All of his family, friends, and fellow rehabbers joined in to reenact his recovery. We own this one if you live close enough to borrow it.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not - A love story... sort of. I'm not going to say any more than that.

The Emperor's New Clothes - What if Napoleon only faked his death on Elba? And tried to go back and return to power. Serious and funny.

Delicatessen - A dark comedy in a post-apocalyptic world. The entire movie is set within an apartment building that has a delicatessen on the ground floor. We love the Caro/Jeunet directing team and their bizarre ideas. You will either love or hate this movie. We love it.

The City of Lost Children - Another Caro/Jeunet masterpiece, and this time with an actor we love, Ron Perlman. This is even stranger than Delicatessen, so we only recommend it if you're up for something dark and bizarre.

Spirited Away - This is a Hayao Miyazaki. If you don't know his work, you need to. We particularly like this one.

The Station Agent - A beautiful finish for this list. Quiet, powerful, funny, poignant. Peter Dinklage is wonderful. Oh man. I'm moving this the top of our Netflix queue. It's been too long.

Edward at almost 13 months

Edward is such a talker. He babbles nearly all the time. Even with his pacifier hanging out of his mouth. Combined with signs and gestures, he makes himself understood reasonable well. Our current favorite is when he does different voices for different toys. High pitched screechy noises for some, and deeper daddy type voices for other.

The words he says right now (that I can remember) are:
Uh-oh
Whoa
Side (outside)
Uh-sat (what's that)
Mama
Dada
Ama (grandma)
Eeta (Ethan)
Paa (pacifier)
Baa (bottle)
Bah (ball)
Up (cup)
*grunt* (I'm poopy.) This really is a vocalized response when you ask if he needs a diaper change, not just the grunt you thought of.
Moo (cow)
Boo (scaring you)
Rar (lion)

Of course, he still signs eat and all done. And shakes his head no.

He has also learned to beep noses. That's less fun at bedtime when he can reach my nose and beep it from every angle. Mom flinches when you jab the inside of her nose. But it's cute the rest of the day.

Edward's walking has gone from a few steps to a definate goal, to walking just because it's a way to get around. He still doesn't take more than five or six steps before switching to a crawl, but if he's standing, he'll walk a while first. Even switching surfaces easily.

Our little guy is getting bigger by the second. He seems less and less like a baby every day, and more and more like a kid. I love watching this stage!

Mommy Milestone

I got to make my first call to Poison Control today. Yay!

Edward found a cold pack that had fallen out of the freezer. I used to let him gum them on occasion b/c he didn't have teeth and the cold felt good. BAD IDEA. He has a tooth now. When I discovered him, Edward grinned up at me with red gel all over his mouth.

Luckily, they're not toxic. The nice guy at Poison Control was quick to tell me that Edward was fine. Then he said that he may have some minor irritation, but giving him something to drink and cleaning him up would help prevent that. It sounded like they have calls about these cold packs relatively often. Often enough that he didn't need to look up anything.

I expected that the call would be lengthy with lots of questions about how it happened and exactly what brand the unlabeled cold pack was. But it was quick and painless. The only questions they asked were for tracking data - age, sex, and zip code. The whole call was less than a minute.

I'm glad that my first call to them was easy and a non-issue. Because I'll know how helpful they are when one of the boys eats something that's actually poisonous. Rumor has it they'll call 911 for you and stay on the phone until help arrives. To keep answering questions and give first aid instructions. Lets hope I never have to find out!

Dental Adventures, Part 1

Did you know that you don't have to wait until your kids need braces to spend thousands of dollars on their teeth? Ethan is teaching us new things every day!

Ethan had a cleaning today with his new dentist. He was a champ. The boy went in for the cleaning portion ALL BY HIMSELF! This office prefers it that way if the child is ready. I hadn't told about that part because I figured it would freak him out. (It probably would have.) But as soon as the hygenist saw his Cars T-shirt and told him that she had Lightning McQueen toothbrushes, he was off. Mom or no mom. I did poke my head in a few minutes later, but the boy was chatting away. He was just fine.

The x-rays didn't go quite as well, but they got two. That's two more than last time!

After a LONG wait for the dentist, he came in to check Ethan's teeth. As expected, the boy has cavities. Plural. We were very aware of one (that we couldn't get the previous dentist to treat! ARGH!) and expected one or two more. But the boys mouth needs some serious work.

I had to check the treatment work-up to make sure I had my numbers right. Ethan needs five fillings. Bad, but not horrible. He also needs two pulpotomies. To avoid medical jargon, lets think of them as partial root-canals. Yes, I just said root-canals. My four year old will have two crowns. CROWNS.

And how do you do a root canal on a four year old who won't even let you get an x-ray? That's right, sedation. Full-on general anesthesia. At the hospital. In a surgery suite.

I'm kind of freaking out over here. I can handle just about anything in the medical world, but I have this thing about general anesthesia. I'm afraid of it. And I'm really afraid of how Ethan will do coming out of it.

We've told Ethan that the yucky spot on his front tooth needs to be fixed before it hurts. So the dentist will fix it while he's sleeping and he'll wake up with a new tooth. He's actually excited for a new tooth.

We're aiming for the surgery date in mid-February. (The pedi-dentist only books the suite once a month or so.) We have to pre-pay, so we may not make it, but we're hoping.

Anyone else have to put their young kid through general anesthesia? How did it go?

PS - I think I should probably mention that we take very good care of Ethan's teeth. I discussed with the dr why his teeth have so many issues. First, genetics. I have incredibly soft enamel that decays when you look at it funny. Ethan inherited it. Second, spacing. Ethan also has my teeny tiny mouth. I'm missing two full sets of teeth and still barely have room in there. Ethan's teeth are packed so tightly together that brushing is not as effective as it should be. We need to floss morning and night. And third, the gain weight diet. Remember all that whole milk/cream stuff that Ethan used to drink? He had to drink so much of it that he took a cup to bed with him. We knew it risked damaging his teeth, but didn't expect the other problems to compound the issue. We stopped doing that more than a year ago. Plus we have always been cautious about sticky foods and don't allow juice. We've done just about everything right. But what was started before has only gotten worse. At least we have the option of sedation and don't have to traumatize him.

Way Back When... We Went to Florida

With all of the sudden trips last fall, and then the holidays, I never managed to catch up here on the blog. I'm going to attempt some of it.

If you remember, we went to Florida at the beginning of October. After a fun day at the beach with friends, we got down to the real business. Disneyworld. We spent the week with my mom (Grandma L), her husband (Grandpa T), T's oldest daughter's family, and a friend of my mom's from New Zealand. Quite a crowd.

We did it all. Magic Kingdom (the equivalent of Disneyland for you westerners), Epcot, Animal Kingdom, even a water park. (Did you know Disney had waterparks? I did!) Plus, we went to the awesome Halloween party at the Magic Kingdom. Seriously so fun.

I would share horror stories, but there really weren't any. No one was hurt or became violently ill. No one got lost. Even the babies were angels the whole time. We had a great time.

(Our only recommendation when you have a large group of varying ages is to not try to stay together too much. Split up for a few hours and meet back up. There are things to do together, but everyone will have more fun if they have some time when they can go on the rides that THEY want to go on.)

Here are some snapshots from Epcot, and then a character breakfast and the safari at Animal Kingdom.

Us in front of the iconic Spaceship Earth

Ethan was a little bit freaked out by the shark teeth

John and Ethan with Goofy (you can see some of the "cousins" as well)

The whole clan with Mickey

Edward being adorable at breakfast.

The Safari ride at Animal Kingdom is my all time favorite.
You actually go through the habitats, getting amazingly close to the animals.

This rhino was a troublemaker. He has been known ram the jeeps and often stands right in their way. We had to stop and wait for him to move and then he stood about three feet away eyeing us while we inched by. I was so busy holding onto the kids I didn't get any up-close pictures.

He did it!

Edward took his first wobbly steps this morning. About five of them. And John was still home to see it. We all cheered, but the boy was too interested in his toy to pay attention to us.

I'm so glad that he finally decided he could walk. He's been on the verge for more than a month but was waiting until he was more sure footed. I wish he'd have the same caution when it comes to climbing! Now I need to gear up for having a little runner again. I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.

2009? When did that happen?

It seems like only a few weeks ago that it was the end of 2007 and I was very pregnant with Edward. I'm feeling stunned that it's more than a year later, that I have a one year old and a four year old, that I'm in a house, in TEXAS of all places, and that we're moving beyond the "temporary" stage of our lives.

So, at this beginning of a new year, it's time for resolutions. Here are the ones that aren't too small or too personal to share.

1. John got me a Wii Fit for Christmas. I excitedly started it up and was almost immediately learned that my bad back (which is not in the shape it needs to be) bumped my "Wii Fit Age" up by many, many years. So I resolve to strengthen my core body muscles, with both the Wii and swimming when I can manage it.

2. See that list of books on the sidebar? Those are the books I've started and fully intend to finish. When I find time. I resolve to read all of those books this year. And have a completely new list over there.

3. I've been cooking. A lot. Enough that I want to be sure I keep it going. So I resolve to do this. I think it'll be fun to share. I've already started with a few from the last week or so to give you a glimpse.

4. I've been building up our food storage. We have so far to go, but I quickly realized that I had no idea what to do with it. I resolve to learn how to use our food storage to make delicious and nutritious meals so that I could sustain us with it if I had to.

5. Finally, I resolve to say thank you more. I'm becoming more aware of my own mental blocks with this. Somehow, I got this idea into my head that family members or friends simply do things for each other. That it's part of being a family or a friend. That its expected. In part because I don't expect a thank you when I do these type of things. This isn't really a conscious thing, but it affects the way I treat those I love. And I don't like it. Going forward, I'm going to make a conscious effect to thank those around me.

What are your resolutions? And do you want to help me with mine? I could sure use some babysitting over here.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Updating the blog. New look. New links. New fun little tidbits if you look hard enough.

Day of Faith

Harvard recently had a "Day of Faith: Personal Quests for a Purpose" panel. They had five undergraduates talk about their religions, their beliefs, and how Harvard has affected their faith. Really interesting.

I was really blown away by the LDS junior who participated. She explained difficult topics clearly, she was well prepared for even the toughest questions, and she even clearly differentiated "We believe" from "I believe". She was a wonderful representative for the the church.

So if you're LDS, watch it to learn a little about how to present yourself. And if you're not, watch it to learn a little about us. It's worth the twenty minutes.


Day of Faith: Personal Quests for a Purpose - 3. Rachel Esplin from Harvard Hillel on Vimeo.

Yes, I am a Nerd

John got me the best present ever. Check it out! He couldn't decide which microbe to get me, so he went with a neuron. Because we could all use an extra brain cell or two. I love it.

I've been looking at all of them and I don't think I could decide either. I want so many! Clostridium perfringens, a Leukocyte, Yersinia pestis, Helicobacter pylori, ... I could go on and on. These are so awesome!

Some Random Things

- Edward got his first tooth on his first birthday. That could have been bad, but we didn't even know he was teething. Yay for my stoic, sweet guy!

- Ethan is having sleeping issues. Mainly going to sleep issues. It takes hours every night, and napping is non-existent. (It was only four days a week before, but he still needs it.) Our boy is exhausted. He's so tired that he's started having tantrums again. Like he's two. And the nearly constant whining and crying is driving me out of my mind. We have no idea what the problem is and have found nothing that will keep the boy in his room. Really no fun at all.

- Edward is a chatterbox. He almost never stops talking. I love that he looks at me and rattles off whole sentences, like I should understand exactly what he's saying. We've figured out a few. Mama, Dada, and Hi are all obvious. Then there are those that no one else would get. Ethan, All Done, What's That, Ball, and Raaar (as in roar). Also he has a specific grunt that means "Yes, my diaper is stinky." And he has the "no" head shake down pat. Loving that we can communicate more!

- John is shaving off his goatee in three days! Really, two days and a wake up. I'm so excited!! I've decided to call it a Christmas present to me. I've been ready for it to be gone for a while. He's had it for a year, people. A year of a scratchy faced husband is not my favorite. (I love him, just not his unkempt facial hair.)

- My Grandpa's doing great. We couldn't even let ourselves hope for this before, but he should be home for Christmas! Probably even the traditional Danish Christmas Eve at the farm. I wish I could be there. (Also, this means I really need to decide on a layout program and a printer so that I can buckle down and get his book ready for publishing. At least the first volume. Any suggestions? I've used Blurb, but have some issues with their layout program. Solvable ones, but it's easier to avoid them all together.)

- How is it that Christmas is so close and I haven't finished my wrapping???? Usually I'm done shopping before December hits and I'm done wrapping by the middle of the month. I like having the last few weeks to just relax and enjoy the season. Life managed to get in the way this year. At least I'm done shopping. (Unless you're family. We're aiming to have your gifts done by the end of January. Hopefully.)

- I need to clean the boys bathroom. But I think I'm going to go make some chocolate gingerbread cookie bars instead.

Testing All Toys

I'm sure that most of you have heard about the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) by this point. I've known about it for about a year, but was unaware that it would be incomplete.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for this legislation. Safer toys? Fabulous. But, especially because of this. Yea. That would be the lead analyzer my dad's company is making. The company that we all hold stock in. We've been excited for the CPSIA ever since word first leaked out. And we all watched for the news when the bill passed in August. It was great news for us.

The problem I have with the legislation is the reason you may have heard of it. They made no provision for handmade toys. I am a firm believer that people should have the right to accept the risks of an "untested" handmade toy if they so choose. Without this provision, most makers and sellers of these toys will go out of business as the cost of testing is just too high.

So, if you are planning to write your congressman or something of the like, suggest that the CPSIA be amended to allow for handmade toys. Even if it means we as the consumer have to sign a release form to buy them. Don't bother asking to have it repealed. There were only 3 votes against it in the congress and senate combined. They LIKE this bill. But they may be convinced to fix some of its flaws.

Haven't heard of this bill? Here is a great overview of it. And here is a good analysis of how it may affect toy sellers (as far as anyone understands right now.)

NY Pictures and a Video

Fooled you! No pictures here.

I'm stretched a little thin for the next week or so and have no idea when I'll get around to posting my own. So I'm just going to point you to some from my dad's family blog.

Pictures of the boys are here, and a video of the Indian war whoop is here. Enjoy! (And thanks to Chris for posting them.)

Christmas Gifts

The last two weeks have changed my perspective on the Christmas season. I'd already been trying to focus on family instead of things, but apparently I had a ways to go. Since being home, I've had this obsessive need to rearrange and declutter my kitchen. I've been sorting through every cabinet, adding lots to the garage sale box. Because I need more room for good memories. Here's what changed me.

Spending time with Grandpa was so great. And we didn't need any stuff to enjoy our time together. It made me realize that the best gift he can give any of us is himself for as long as he can. After that, we'll be happy with his memories. Thanks for letting me help you get them into a form that will last for generations, grandpa.

Spending time with my parents and siblings and extended family made me miss them. And the east coast they live in. I was absolutely giddy about spending two weeks in the cold weather. I loved being able to watch my boys play with their grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Someone should move out here near us. Ben? Hannah Banana?? Dad???

Spending so much time with my kids (way more than I wanted because they slept with me) reinforced how much I love them and will do anything for them. I had several people comment on my mothering skills while traveling back home. In a good way. Each time I said thanks, but thought "I'm just doing what I need to. What are they talking about?" Looking back, I see that simply by not giving up when all of us were falling apart, I was showing them how much I loved them.

Spending so much time apart from my husband was horrible. We both decided we'd never do that again if we can help it. Grandma and Grandpa J, I don't know how you do it. I heard that song "All I Want for Christmas is You" on the radio while in NY and realized, besides the fact that I can't stand it, that all I wanted was to be home with John. I didn't need anything else. Just John.

So that's what's on my mind this December. I have my family and I don't need anything else.

Except maybe Rock Band for the Wii. And some black boots. I'm not perfect, people.

PS - I read this post today and it simply reinforced how important family can be. And reminded me of my favorite Christmas. Anyone else remember Ben sharing his pizza from Santa?

Too Fast!!

Slow down Edward! We love that you're so smart and that you're growing up, but we're not ready. This is what you've done, just in the last two weeks. (Sorry that you missed it all, daddy.)

-Standing
-Threatening to walk (We've been stopping him so that daddy doesn't miss it.)
-Indian War Whoop (I'll post video of this. It's hilarious.)
-Two teeth coming through at once
-Combing his hair (It's the cutest thing you've ever seen. I'll try to get video, or at least a picture.)
-Sharing, and not just the give and take back kind

I'm sure I'm forgetting some. It's all happening so fast, and I'm not ready to lose my baby. So Edward, cut it out!

Moments in a Hospital Room

Everyone should have the opportunity to spend so much unfettered time with each of their family members. I wasn't able to spend as much time as I would have liked because of my own boys, but the time I was able spend in the hospital with grandpa was wonderful. I wanted to record some of my favorite moments so that I don't forget them.

-The incongruity of grandpa in his hospital bed, wiggling his toes under the sheets, leading a meeting. He's a CTO and isn't willing to let anything slide while he can't be at work. He'd even participated in the 3 hour Board of Directors meeting that morning. That's grandpa. Always getting his work done.

-The opportunity I had to bring him two surprise books. One, the first volume of his memoirs. It was just a test printing. Unedited and without photos. But he loved it. The other book was from all of the family. He's been writing his book for us, so we thought we'd make one for him in return. It's a simple scrapbook with a page from each of us. I loved being able to watch him read through it. Tearing up at what each person wrote to him, and talking to their pictures. I wish every member of the family could have seen it.

-All of the people and life lessons we talked about. Grandpa has had a long, storied life. I'm looking forward to continuing to read his memoirs and learning even more from him.

-Going through the photos for his book. We were labeling them so that I'd know where to put them. But anyone who knows grandpa knows that this meant I spent hours getting to listen to grandpa's stories. I loved it.

-Tucking grandpa into bed. I'm grateful for the blessing it is to serve him. He's spent his whole life serving others and I love that he'll let us give back in these little ways.

No matter the outcome, I'm overflowing with gratitude for the opportunity to spend this time with him. I love you, grandpa.

Grateful

It's hard not to see how many things I have to be thankful for today. Now that I think about it, it could be hard. I've been without a husband for kid help and emotional support for more than a week (I'm dying here!) My grandpa spent Thanksgiving in the hospital while we had dinner at his house. I could complain about so many things today. But I just can't.

I'm grateful that I have a husband who is so wonderful with the kids, one who holds me up and allows me to do the things that make me happy. I'm grateful for happy, healthy, smart, fun, loving, and oh so adorable kids. I'm grateful that, after all these years, my parents are happy. I'm grateful for all that my dad's wife is doing to make sure grandpa is cared for. I'm grateful that, with the miracles of technology, grandpa was able to sit at the head of his table and preside over Thanksgiving dinner while still in his hospital bed.

And the smaller things. I'm grateful that I finally learned to make the yummiest rolls. I'm grateful that I know my mom's recipes off the top of my head and could bring a few family favorites to Thanksgiving. I'm grateful that my boys have slept through the night several days in a row so that I've been more rested. (And for their grandparents who happily get up with them in the morning.) I'm grateful for this computer that allows me to stay connected to my life, even when I'm away. I'm grateful for my cell phone that keeps me connected to my husband, no matter where we are.

I could go on and on. But these are the things that stood out to me today. I hope everyone had a happy thanksgiving.

For My Family

Every member of my family is both a science or tech nerd AND a music or drama geek. This video is for all of them. Enjoy!

I'm My Mother's Daughter

If you don't know my mom, then you're missing out. For many reasons. But one of them is extra nice for those around her. When my mom is having a hard time accepting something (loss of a loved one, for example) she bakes pies. Emphasis on the plural. We all know that you can tell how much mom loved someone by the number of pies she made when they died. There were times when we would have to invite everyone we knew to come eat because the entire kitchen table was covered with pies.

I think it's a great coping mechanism. I realized today that I bake when I'm stressed out. Why add something else to my list of things to do? Because you get yummy things afterward! It's nice to put in the effort and get a result you can enjoy. I'm not extreme as my mom, and I've branched out from pies, we still have a lot of yummy food. Right now, we have oatmeal cookies, apple crisp, funeral potatoes (you bake them...), and dough for sugar cookies chilling in the fridge. I may need to start giving some of this away.

The even bigger upside is my mood. Even with so much to do in the next three days, and completely different stresses involved with traveling and why I'll be in NY, I'm in a really good mood. I guess it's ok to be like your mom sometimes.

Off again

I'm not feeling very settled in to Texas yet. Partially because it's not on the east coast, so it feels nothing like home. And partially because I'm barely here!

I wanted to let everyone know that I may not post much, or at all, for the next several weeks. The boys and I are heading to NY to spend some time with family while my grandfather is in the hospital. We've been through this before. This is the third fight with this same leukemia. And we know the odds aren't fabulous this time.

Few of us are handling it as well as we have before. We've been waiting for it to come back, but were shocked by how quickly it came on. No warning. We were hoping for another year to spend more time with him and allow him to finish his memoirs. There's still a chance that we'll have him around, but no one is counting on it. Ever the scientist, he even decided to go with an experimental chemotherapy this go round so that any result will be beneficial to someone.

Anyway, I have five days to get us packed, finish Ethan's birthday plans, and plan two events for church that will either happen while I'm gone or right after I get back. At least keeping busy is helping me dwell less on the chance that we'll lose him to infection before I get there.

Man, this post is sad.

I think I'm going to be sick...

I went to the gym tonight. (Will someone please revive my parents? I'm sure they just fainted from shock.)

Anywho, the gym has a pool. And the membership is pretty cheap. AND they have free childcare. Can't wait to try that out next time.

I went to go swim some laps. It was pathetic. I was winded after the third lap or so. Total, I probably only swam for about 15 minutes. I can't believe how out of shape I am!! (Yes I can. I'm breathing hard after going up the stairs some days.)

On the way out, I had to keep telling myself not to throw up. My body really isn't used to exercise of any kind. Have you heard the term skinny-fat? It means you look skinny, but your muscles and heart are incredibly out of shape. That's me. Not that I'm skinny anymore. But I'm not overweight by any standard. I even got a few admiring looks as I walked by the weight machines. (Gotta remember to put my wedding ring back on next time.)

Ooo Ooo. The best part. I weighed myself. Really, that was the best part. Even fully clothed and with my sneakers on, I've lost more than 15 pounds since having Edward! Pre-pregnancy weight is only 6 pounds away. Maybe I can make it before he turns one. I'd deserve a party for that. With cake. And ice cream.

Man I want some ice cream.

Skipping Ahead - Grownup Halloween Party

I needed to skip ahead b/c I've already posted some pictures of this elsewhere and just wanted to bring on all the comments at once.

DON'T SCROLL DOWN TO THE PICTURE YET!

SERIOUSLY!!

YOU'LL RUIN THE SHOCK OF IT!!!

So, John's new company hosts a big Halloween party every year. It's always music themed. This year it was 80's Beat-Boxing. (Break-dancing.) Everyone was supposed to dress along those lines, or at least some kind of 80's pop music.

Ummm... yea. That's just not us. So we decided to branch out to other 80's music. After weeks of searching for the right costume ideas, I saw a comment somewhere about 80's goth-punk. That was it. The best costumes ever were born. You really need to click to see it larger.

So yes, we crashed their party. It was awesome. And honestly, we loved wearing these outfits. Both of us commented that our clothes the next day felt like our 'regular costumes'.

You know you want to borrow that wig.

Florida Part 1 - The Beach

We started off October with a trip to Florida. The first night was spent with our old friends Alissa and Matt, and their 4 kids. Man we miss those guys. The next day, we decided to head to the beach. Of course, I have no pictures of them, or even of Ethan. Edward was being so danged cute, I couldn't stay away. (Thanks Liss for the last two photos!)

The Sand Monster
Not long after this he was coated head to toe. He loves sand.

He wanted to play with the big kids.

Watching the waves

Can you see the sand coating the left side of his face and in his fat rolls? He loved it.

Lounging in the stroller after a good rinse off. What a great day.

Wait! There's More!

Edward stuck under his exersaucer. I had to hold back my sniggers while getting him out.





You wouldn't think it most days, but these boys really do love each other.







And finally the joy of messy eating. Followed by a bath in the backyard. Even with Ethan and John trying, they couldn't keep him in the tub.

And More Pictures for you Voyeurs

Edward stuck at the gate because he still hasn't figured out how to step back down. Ethan in his favorite 'waiting for dad' spot. Edward's punk hair. Ethan's ever present tongue. And my boy reading his first book.

Would You Like to See Some Pictures???

Apparently everyone has given up on me. No one reads my blog anymore. I know that you don't care about me, you just want to see pictures of the boys. I get it. If that's what it takes to appease you. Here are some pictures of Edward back in Sept. He was being so cute! And yes, he did climb up onto the back of the couch by himself. Little stinker.

Edward's Game

Edward, in the middle of his misery, is having a few minutes of fun. I heard him laughing over by the fridge and called him over. He crawled to me, giggling all the way, to show me his new game. He has two circular magnets that he pulled off of the fridge. He picks them up off the floor, and lets go while still waving his hand around so that they go flying. He thinks it's hilarious.

He's also hitting them so that they slide across the tile. Chasing things is one of his favorite games, and he's always happy to send things flying himself if no one is willing to do it for him.

Oh! Now he's moved on to a plastic cup. It rolls better when he hits it. I really should be videotaping this, but I love sitting here laughing with him.

This is why we call him Sweet Boy. In the midst of sickness, he reminds us why we love him.

Apology, but we're sick over here

October was a very busy month for us, and I have a ton to recap. It would have been done this past week, but our sweet boy came down with a high fever. At least he managed to hold it off until the day after our second big trip of the month. Unfortunately, we're on day 7 of this. Yesterday we even went in and did lots of blood work and chest x-rays. (Thank goodness our dr's clinic not only has sunday hours, but radiology and a lab too!) Even after all of that we're still thinking virus, so we just have to wait it out. His body is fighting hard, so hopefully we'll be over this soon. Then I promise lots of pictures and details of our fun, exhausting month.

Please keep Edward in your prayers. He's having a rough go of it.

Missing Screws

My laptop is missing some screws in the back. No big deal, right? Except they are the two screws that hold in the hard drive. I spent two days trying to figure out how to deal with a "hard drive not found" error before flipping the computer over and seeing that the drive was popped out an 1/8th of an inch. Pushed it back in and all's back to normal. I think I should maybe replace those screws before traveling again.

The Determined One

Edward is definitely determined. When he decides to do something, it's hard to stop him.

This week he's managed to eat toilet paper, regular paper, dryer lint, and every bit of grossness he can find on the floor. He's climbed up boxes, the back of his highchair, and a folding chair that was closed and leaning against the wall. Each pot, pan, and bowl has been pulled out my kitchen cabinets at least once. And I've given up on loading the dishwasher when he's around because he immediately climbs in to play with the racks. There's no stopping him.

This trait does have its advantages, though. Previously, Edward hasn't been interested in learning what we try to teach him. Apparently he'd been paying attention, but was holding out on us. This week, he started clapping, waving, giving high-fives, and signing "eat" (mostly on my mouth, but at least he gets it.) He's also decided that it's about time he stand up. He's becoming very stable while holding on with one hand, and has let go on a few occasions. We've even seen him try to stand up without anything to hold on to two or three times.

So Edward's determination can be frustrating when I'm trying to keep him safe, but it's also great when it comes to his development. He takes the time to observe and then, when he decides he's ready, just does it.

Prop 8

I don't usually wax political, especially on the blog. (Don't ask me about the presidential race. I get mad.) Although we don't live in California, we're interested in the outcome of the vote on Proposition 8. First because of the issue, and second because the CA state supreme court set a very dangerous precedent that needs to be dealt with.

Even if you don't live in CA, watch this video all the way through. It's really well done, and you might learn a thing or two about the effects of this kind of legislation. (I know that the picture youtube shows makes it look incredibly biased, but I promise it's really level headed.) Thanks Marci for passing it on!

The Geese is Getting Fat

Christmas is coming!!! Ten weeks away. Because I want to be able to enjoy the holidays, I always do my shopping early. I'm nearly done. Not kidding. I'll finish wrapping before Thanksgiving. (Go ahead and smack my husband for putting his part of the shopping off until the last few days. Slacker.)

It's hard to feel like it's even fall yet, with the temps still peaking in the 90s some days, and not an orange or red leaf in sight. (I did see a pile of ugly brown leaves underneath a brown tree the other day. I think it was "fall foliage", but it looked more like the tree was dying in the heat. It made me want to cry and catch the next flight to the northeast.) But I'm trying. It rained yesterday and today, so I made stew and pumpkin cookies. The boys and I cozied up at home and pretended cooler weather is coming.

Although it doesn't feel like time yet with the weather, I'm getting myself excited for Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. Decorating, music, yummy treats, wrapping, giving, playing Santa, . . everything. Do you think its too early to put up a tree?

I spent ages looking for video of Miss Piggy singing "Christmas is Coming". No dice. Even audio was hard to find. The beginning of the song is here. Enjoy! Its from one of my absolute favorite Christmas albums. Well worth downloading on iTunes.

How am I bringing beauty to my home?

I heard this question today. It made me stop and look around. Toys everywhere, basket of clean laundry in the middle of the living room, cluttered countertops, etc. I could go on for ages. Our house is a wreck.

But then my eyes took in my children. I helped bring so many smiles today. Man, I did a good job of making my home more beautiful.

10 things that made me happy today

10 - $2.95 gas. I was practically giddy.

9 - Crockpot dinner. No fighting to get dinner finished while kids are having their afternoon freak out.

8 - Rain. I love rain. And all the green things it brings.

7 - Gummy bears that have been open for awhile. Nice and hard, the way they should be. (Weird, I know. I also love hard marshmallows.)

6 - Edward playing independently for half an hour. Granted, he pulled out every bowl and pot in my kitchen cabinets, but I'm ok with that. A few minutes clean up was worth it.

5 - Snuggling with Ethan while talking about how to be more loving towards his baby brother.

4 - Pumpkin cookies. Yummm.

3 - Ethan banging spoons together to keep rhythm with his singing.

2 - Alone time with each of my boys.

1 - Edward snuggles.

We must be doing something right

I just walked into the living room to find Ethan, with his scriptures open to the picture of Jesus, singing "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam." Followed by him showing me the picture and explaining how he will teach all his friends about Jesus and how to be good in Primary. What a sweet boy he can be sometimes.

Vomit

Oh yes. Ethan has been a fountain today. I've cleaned up after him four times. We're on the second load of laundry. I've given up hope and left the mop out. And he's been awake less than two hours. Lots more to come, I'm sure!!

Maybe he'll take a long nap and I'll be able to do some of the packing. And I should be able to run the errands I need to tonight, as long as John gets home at a reasonable hour. My day is shaping up to be different than I'd planned!

Help Out Some Friends!

First, and the big one, is an old friend Danny. Without going into detail, he is a great guy who has had some rough spells in life. With renewed hope, he's now in PT school and his wife is about to have a baby. He is a finalist in the Wells Fargo Someday Stories Contest. Meaning he has already won $10,000 for his essay about his "Someday" goal to be a Physical Therapist and enrich people's lives. As a finalist, he can win $100,000 to put toward that goal and taking care of his family. Please, please, please, go HERE and vote for Danny. Once with each email address you have. (They use your email to verify that you are a real person and to let you know who wins. That's it.) He is a very strong second and only 500 votes behind the leader, so we know we can help him get there!

And second, my gorgeous friend Steph. She is in a baby bump photo contest to win a new nursery for her first boy. Following two older sisters, I'm sure the little guy would appreciate a more manly room. Go HERE and vote for #82. You can also find her in the photos, but it's an obnoxious system so don't feel obligated.

Ethan's Collections

Just like any boy, we constantly have a collection of sticks next to the front door. (They aren't allowed in the house.) We also frequently have cups full of leaves or flower buds as a centerpiece on the table. And we have the requisite collection of cars.

But the best one is new. Ethan has decided to collect pictures of LDS temples. There are 128 right now, and he only has 2, so we have a ways to go. The boy already has Boston and San Antonio. We promised him that every time we go to a distribution center he can pick out a new one. This might take his whole life that way. So we're asking for help. If you live near a temple or distribution center, or if your chapel has them out in the foyer like our does, send us a picture of your temple! Or of one that has particular meaning to you. Ethan will love building his collection and getting mail from his family and friends.

The ones that John and I would particularly like to see in his collection are Bern Switzerland, Preston England, Seoul Korea, Manila Philippines, Los Angeles CA, Palmyra NY, Salt Lake City UT, Mt Timpanogos UT, Jordan River UT, Provo UT, Manti UT, Washington DC, and Toronto Ontario.

(Looking over those pictures I was touched by the inspired construction of the SLC and DC temples. The main spire on each seems to be pulling the others upward. A beautiful visual reminder to uplift those around us. Love it.)

Planner

I'm a planner. Not just kind of. I have this obsessive need to know what the plan is. The family is collectively nodding their heads in agreement. I think it's getting worse. Any member of the family who has a vacation planned with us in the next several years is thinking about backing out.

The "good" thing is that I've learned to be more proactively vocal about it, rather than complaining later. I will make sure that we all know the plan in advance. Spontaneity is allowed, but in short bursts that account for the kids naptimes, mealtimes, and bedtimes. Food for me should also be scheduled because we all know how much worse it gets when my blood sugar hits the floor.

I'm thinking about this b/c I'm planning ahead for our vacation in a few weeks. So not ready! I don't even have a packing list yet. AAAHHHH! Focus. We live by our schedule around here. Traveling and doing vacationy things tends to throw everyone off. Any suggestions for doing disney stuff with kids who nap??? We're already planning to alternate busy days and relaxing days, so Ethan will be fine napping every other. But Edward. Oh, I'm so afraid of throwing off his sleeping. With his reflux (or GERD as they're calling it now b/c it's still such a major issue for him) causing sleep issues for him, it only makes it worse when he doesn't get naps that his body would let him take. Seriously, how have you managed trips like this with babies who need naps but don't sleep anywhere but the crib???

Meet Mia!

Have you seen American Girl's Girl of the Year? Yup. Her name is Mia. She has green eyes, dark blond hair, and chubby cheeks. She even has my funny, unbalanced lips! I'm kind of creeped out. (But I also kind of want one.)

PS to the Moms: Don't buy me one. Seriously.

Halloween is coming up fast!

And we can't decide what to wear. Ethan will be Buzz Lightyear (obviously) but the rest of us are undecided. Take the poll on my sidebar and let me know which idea you like.

Recap 3: The Drive Out

Apparently, we have no pictures from the people we visited on the way out. NONE! Don't ask me how that happened. Here are a few of my boys from the driving portions of the trip.

Napping during a break for lunch. All that driving wore him out.

We visited a fun cave (no pictures, of course) and Ethan loved his spelunking hard hat.

My cute hubby taking a turn driving.

The sweet boy was an angel on the drive. Slept or entertained the rest of us with his chatter.

Aren't I cute?

Hey! I asked you a question!

We don't play rough with our boys! Who told you that?

Awwww

Ethan was obsessed with his drinks the whole trip. "You mean I can have juice?? Really???? I drank all of this one. We need some more."

For My Dad

My dad is always reminding me that I should sing more. Especially at home. I know that during the happy times, my mom singing was one of his favorite things. And I promise dad, we do sing a lot around here. Probably not as much as I should, but I'm trying.

I just read this post about a woman who appreciates her good-enough singing voice as a gift for her and her family. Even if she will never sing on Broadway. Mine isn't amazing, but it's good. And being low, it stands out more than average. It's a goal of mine to perform again. But for now, I want to remember the gift that it can be to my kids, my husband, and to me. Thanks dad for helping me see how much it can mean to our family.

Ike is coming

For the grandparents who are worrying, Ike will be passing to the east of us. We are expecting some flooding and power outages if it passes close enough. But probably just some strong wind and rain. We're prepared for anything, but don't expect to need it.

In all honesty, we're much more worried about our friends on the coast. Those in Houston were advised to stay put and tough it out. Keep them in your prayers!

Suit Drive

Have you heard about the Suit Drive at Men's Wearhouse? They are collecting gently used professional clothing to help at-risk men and youth move into the workforce. They'll add a new dress shirt to every suit donated. I love this. I've seen it for women before, but never for men. I'm going to pull out John's old suit and see if its in good enough shape to donate. And I know he has ties he doesn't wear. They're also accepting slacks, belts, and sport coats if you're looking to clean out your husband's closet ;)

Preschool Day 2

After his rough start on Tuesday, I was a little nervous about how preschool would go today. Drop off was fine. Mostly because Miss Karen had the playdough Ethan helped me make out on the table when we walked in. Hugs and kisses and he was off to dig his hands in.

At pickup, Ethan was happy until I asked him to say goodbye. At first, I thought he was tired and didn't want to talk to anyone else. Once we were in the car though, Ethan let me know why. "Mom, I don't want to go home. I want to go back to preschool." He hadn't wanted to say goodbye because he didn't want to leave. So we sang the songs they'd sung in chapel all the way home and he was happy. (Would you believe they sang "Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam"? The teacher has some LDS friends and has picked up some of the songs. Ethan loves it.)

A much better ending today. He's going to do great this year.

Horrible Mother

Yes. I am going to admit my most horrible mothering moment. Mostly so that I can get you to share yours and make me not feel so bad.

Yesterday, I was a little stressed out by Ethan's state of mind after preschool and by the ridiculous dinner I was trying to make. I put Edward down for a nap and went to work on dinner while trying to keep Ethan from bursting into tears every other minute.

About thirty minutes into the nap, I wasn't thinking and turned on the food processor. It was so loud. I'm sure the neighbors heard it. So it woke up Edward. I heard him cry for a second and then a loud *thunk*. Then screaming. I ran upstairs and burst into his room to find him on the floor, crawling around while screeching his head off.

I'd been so distracted when I'd put him down that I'd forgotten to raise the side of the crib. He'd gone to stand up and launched himself over the railing. Poor guy. He was back to normal a few minutes later, but it was scary. I did a thorough check. Physically and neurologically he's just fine. But my trust in my own skills is suffering a little.

Tell me your most horrible mothering moment. Anonymously if you're reluctant to share. I need to be reminded that little slips are going to happen.

Quotes from Today

"Why did you take your shirt off?" "Because my hands had ice cream on them."

"Mom, I'm all grown up. Look. I have hair on my legs. And my arms."

"Yay, chores! I'm going to make all the beds. And clean your whole room." (We told Ethan that we only stay up later than him because we're doing chores. He took a fabulous nap today, so he gets to stay up and do chores with us. He's so excited! I'm thinking the playroom needs some major cleaning...)

Preschool Day 1

Ethan started preschool today. A real one, this year. He and I have been excited about it for weeks! Him b/c he gets to go, and me b/c I get FIVE hours to have a little quiet around the house and run errands.

Here's the pictures from this morning.

All ready to go...

We were ready too early, so we goofed around for a few minutes. These boys crack each other up.

Singing "I will go, I will do..." and doing a little dance as he walks up to the building.

He's in the middle, playing with the bin of cars that are just for him. (He's the only boy in with seven girls.)

His teacher reported that he was happy and had a great first day. So we assumed his quietness was b/c he'd dozed off during their end of day rest time and hadn't been ready to wake up. We were wrong. Ethan's day ended more miserably than it began.

Ethan was quiet and reserved when we picked him up b/c he'd bit his tongue at some point during the day. He'd dabbed it on his shirt (brown, so the blood wasn't obvious) and didn't tell anyone. So he had a sore mouth for the rest of the day. Strike one.

Having a sore mouth meant that Ethan didn't eat much of his lunch. Hungry means cranky in this house. Strike two.

After being home for a few hours, our boy developed a fever. He's coming down with something. Strike three, and he's out.