I Just Don't Understand

Ethan is still having issues with going to bed. Naptime and bedtime are the absolute worst times of my day. (And yes, he still needs his naps. You should see how much worse it is when he doesn't get them!)

He's had the same routine for most of his life and he makes sure we stick to it. Not a problem. The first issue is that he wants to switch the person doing it after each step. I think we may have allowed it some when he was younger, but not for some time. He knows that the person he chooses to put him to bed stays for the whole process. But everyday, he asks. And several times a week, he gets hysterical about it. We wrestle him into bed, offer him his prayer, songs, or holding hands (whatever comes next) three times, and move on to the next when he keeps screaming at us. (We've tried just doing them, but then he starts hitting. So now he has to tell us he wants them.) Eventually, we kiss him on the top of his head and leave him screaming. If he stays in bed, he eventually will scream himself to sleep.

You can imagine how much worse that whole process is when only one of us is home and he doesn't get to pick who puts him down. Like naptime. When the screaming keeps his brother from going down too. Fun for me.

I said "If he stays in bed..." This is an even bigger problem. Ethan will not stay in his room longer than five minutes. We'll see him every few minutes for HOURS. Sometimes he screams and cries, sometimes he just wimpers. But he always comes out. We've tried everything. We've calmly put him back in bed over and over. We've talked during the day and again at bedtime about how we go to sleep. We've put in extra nightlights to scare away monsters. We've taken away the extra nightlights because he plays with them. We've taken away every toy he takes to "sleep under his bed." We've pleaded. We've yelled. We've threatened. We've even tried spanking. (Gets us a few more minutes in between, but he still comes back out.)

Nothing is working. We love this kid the rest of the day, but we hate him at bedtime. I just don't understand what's going on. So I have no idea how to fix it.

Walking Away

Wow. I don't know what's up with my boys, but they haven't been sleeping. Skipping naps, taking hours to settle down at night, and frequent middle of the night crying has created "The Crankiest Children on the Planet."

It's also created some parents who have a great desire to walk away. Last night, John finally did! After nearly two hours of Ethan coming out of his room, screaming hysterically when taken back in, and waking up his brother every time, John had enough. (I was spending the entire time working on a form for some government assistance. Swearing under my breath at the audacity of the government to create such a horrid form.) So John grabbed the iPod and walked out.

After 45 minutes or so, he walked back in to see Ethan out of his room again. It was actually kind of funny. Ethan knew how mad his dad was, so he just stood there. John knew he would explode if he opened his mouth, so he just stood there. Finally, John turned around and walked out again. When I called him a while later to tell him that Ethan was finally asleep, he was sitting in a movie theater waiting for the show to start. He'd walked all the way to the theater! (He was smart enough to call a friend for a ride home rather than walking in the middle of the night.)

When the kids woke up early this morning, John got up, fed them breakfast, then let them loose at my sleeping form while he showered and practically ran out the door. To sit at Starbucks and work in peace. So I'm left with the fussing, the crying, the whining, the clinging, the yelling, etc. It's only 9 am and I'm ready to be done. Can I walk away please???

Post Script: It's now 3pm and the day hasn't gone so badly. Both boys napped and they managed to play without fighting or whining most of the time. Plus John is on his way home. I guess I can handle sticking around for a while longer.

How to get AAA to come in 10 minutes or less!!

The magic words are "There are kids locked in the car!"

So, we've been having some car trouble. (It's all Grandma J's fault!) The battery had been dying, so we took it in to be replaced. (It's just too cold outside to do it ourselves.) Our shop is great and they checked the battery before pulling it out. It wasn't having any trouble holding a charge, so they did a little more investigating and found that the light-box, a ridiculously expensive bunch of relays, was constantly drawing power. It took a few days to get the new box, so I had to pull out a fuse every time the car was parked. Friday, it was replaced.

We didn't drive the car at all yesterday. When John got in to drive to church this morning, it was dead. Again. I was already gone, so our neighbor gave him a jump. Once John made it, I told him how to pull out the fuse.

Jump to after church. John loaded both kids into the car and started it to check the battery before replacing the fuse. It was fine, so John hopped out and popped the hood. Because it was cold, he closed the car door. Not a problem b/c the doors were all unlocked. EXCEPT that when the fuse is replaced, it locks the doors. Don't ask me why, it just does. And yes, we really should have a duplicate made of the key.

John tried to get Ethan to unbuckle himself and unlock the door, but he's never done it before and I'm not sure he has the hand strength yet. He did manage to wiggle his arms out and reach his lock, but he couldn't pull it up. Both John and I tried the unlock code on the door (it has those buttons above the handle), but that stopped working ages ago and we didn't really expect it to work. Edward, of course, started screaming only moments after we realized we couldn't get in.

AAA responds REALLY fast when kids are locked in cars. That was the first thing I said and the woman on the phone immediately asked for our location, had her supervisor start calling the closest place, and promised they'd be there in less than 10min before she even verified that we were members. It was pretty impressive.

The most amazing thing to me was that I wasn't even worried. I think John was much more worked up, and I knew that the appropriate reaction was freaking out, but it just didn't seem like that big of a deal. Edward would survive crying for a few minutes, Ethan would be a trouper, and we'd be able to comfort them both when we got in. Maybe I'm a little too laid back about my kids.

"These, Our Little Ones"

That's the title of the First Presidency Message in this month's Ensign. It's all about how the future is affected by how we raise our children. Really an inspiring article by President Hinckley. I was particularly struck by a quote he included, attributed to E.T. Sullivan.

"When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn't stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home and of some obscure mother. And then God puts the idea into the mother's heart, and she puts it into the baby's mind. And then God waits. The greatest forces in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest forces in the world are babies."

I love this. I love that my little boys can (and will!) be powerful forces in the future. Even if it's in small ways or in small circles. And although I know that they will ultimately structure their own lives however they wish, President Hinckley's advice on bringing them up in a loving home where they are taught, respected, and led by example will help me provide my boys with a strong foundation to build upon.

Our kind of Christmas music

Ethan and I have been listening to Christmas music in the car and at home for weeks now. Cheesy radio music in the car and typically Handel's Messiah or The Nutcracker at home.

But today we busted out our favorite while decorating the tree. We played The Trans-Siberian Orchestra nice and loud. For anyone who doesn't know, they are a rock orchestra. Definitely our kind of Christmas music. So after the tree, we were all at the table eating dessert when suddenly, we all start dancing in our chairs. Even Ethan. It was hilarious! I couldn't help but think "The family that dances to Christmas rock music together, stays together." We're glad that we're raising our son to appreciate the good stuff.

(For anyone who might be interested, we just discovered that the Smashing Pumpkins have a Christmas song, called Christmas Time. Go to the link to hear it! It's motivated me to find more in the same genre.)