My Favorites

It's been much too long, I know. We're still alive and kicking. Adjusting to a new house, a new work schedule, and my growing, changing boys has been a bit much for me. I'm getting there. Slowly.

Because they make me smile, I thought I'd share a few of my current favorite things.

1. Edwardese. Edward has stopped saying "no." He says "I guess not." On occasions we'll even get an "I guess.......yes." There's also "What chu talk'n 'bout!" And the ever classic "I'm all fine."

2. Ethan's bum. That boy can shake it! He discovered the joy of wiggling his bum a few weeks ago. (I think they did the chicken dance at school.) Ever since, he's become a dancing fiend and can shake that thang with the best of 'em. He'll even make up his own little raps to dance to. Totally cracks me up.

3. A clean kitchen. Now this is not something I have often. But when I do, it's inspiring! I just want to pull out a cutting board or mixing bowls or dust that long counter with flour and start kneading something. The layout of this kitchen makes it hard to keep tidy. But I'm pushing hard to create better habits for all of us. Because I love to be inspired to cook!

4. Edward's PJs. I'm sure I've mentioned Edward's tag obsession before. His taggies are his constant companions. It's evolved to be only clothing tags. His favorites are the ones in his pajamas. Especially the ones in the back of his pajama pants or shorts. BUT, Edward's favorite pajamas to wear are the full length footie ones. No lower-back tag on those. Edward's solution? Layers! He gets his footie pj's with a pair of shorts to provide a tag. All he needs is a cape and he'd make a great superman!

5. Ethan Drawing. Drawing has become an integral part of Ethan's life. He spends a huge portion of every day sitting at the craft table drawing us pictures. A few months ago, his drawings were simple (and unrecognizable) sketches of the things around our house. He's evolved to more intricate and creative works involving our family as books on a shelf, or racetracks with water hazards and short-cuts, or a bird in a cage, in a tree house, supported by several trees reaching over our house. We can barely bring ourselves to even put them in the mail to share. So grandparents, come visit and see Ethan's growing collection of work!

Becoming a Smooth Stone

Things are looking up around here. (Very, very up. But more on that in the coming weeks.)

As we are finishing up this tough year and beginning new things, I've been particularly impressed to pay close attention to what we've been through. To see how each tough thing, no matter how small, polished off a rough edge.

Ethan asks me about the crosses on other churches on a regular basis. We always talk about how we don't celebrate the crucifixion, but the atonement and resurrection. Last week, it struck me exactly how different that makes us from other religions. We know that the plan we agreed to doesn't allow for the Lord to snap his fingers and make everything easy. The plan requires sacrifice, in many different ways.

Heavenly Father had to sacrifice his son to give us all the chance for eternal life.

Eve had to eat the fruit, sacrificing life in the garden of Eden so that the Lord's other commandment could be obeyed and we could all come to earth.

We've all chosen to sacrifice an easy life for the freedom of choice. To become the wondrous person the Lord sees inside, we have a lot of learning to do. And we all know that lessons stick when you've learned them the hard way.

So here we are. Coming out of a rough year. Feeling a little smoother. A little less rough.

Blessed Sleep

I sent out a plea for help six days ago. Thank you so much for all of your suggestions!

Here's what we did.

First, we cut out the nap. I've had a day or two where I really needed the break from him, but he has been much more ready to sleep at bedtime. (Added bonus, he'll occasionally tell me he needs to "rest his legs" and lay down on the guest bed with a book for ten minutes or so.)

Second, we cut down on the books. We've been reading two books ever since he was old enough to pick. Two was easy then because they were short board books. Now, two is kind of ridiculous. We cut it back to one and he hasn't complained at all. And it gives us the opportunity to reward him with an extra book without punishing ourselves.

Third, we put a fan in his room. We'd been frustrated with staying quiet so that we wouldn't get the "You woke me up" excuse. And even when we hadn't made a sound, kids playing football in the park across the street would make noise. (This may have contributed to the monsters fears.) The fan makes enough white noise to block out just about anything.

Fourth, and maybe the biggest, we found a new way to combat the "monsters" in his room. Our assurances of safety and "monster cleansing" techniques hadn't been enough to calm him down. But after several long talks about how God is bigger than the monsters and can keep us safe, Ethan came up with the idea that he should pray about it. So he now asks for Heavenly Father to keep him safe in his personal prayers each night. Now we only hear about silly monsters.

For six nights now, Ethan has gone right to bed. No screaming fits. No fighting. No hours of reappearing. It's wonderful. Thanks again for your help.

Thank You

These last few weeks have been teaching us how many people care about us. We've received so many gestures of kindness and help. Because we've been so overwhelmed by the love everyone has shown us, we've been trying to say thank you to each person, no matter how small the gesture.

Today, I don't know who to say thank you to. You know who you are. Please know that what you did has made us feel very loved on a hard day. Thank you.

Smiles

After my little breakdown this morning (why is it the little things that you feel the most?), the boys worked hard to keep me smiling.

Edward, who has had a fever for the last day or so, spent all morning giggling away. I love that boy. Watching him talk animatedly with his toys made me smile. His crazy giggles when he caught my attention made me laugh. And his big "mmmmmAA" when I made a kissy face made me kiss him over and over.

Ethan sat down to show me each and every valentine he received today, and told me all about the cupcake he decorated. I love his excitement. He wrote letters for me on his white board and tried over and over to spell Mom. (He did get Mama.) I love his little furrowed brow. And he climbed up next to me while we played a game. I snuck in some snuggling while he happily beat me.

I really do have the greatest kids. (And they have never done this! Although that would make me laugh too.)

Christmas Gifts

The last two weeks have changed my perspective on the Christmas season. I'd already been trying to focus on family instead of things, but apparently I had a ways to go. Since being home, I've had this obsessive need to rearrange and declutter my kitchen. I've been sorting through every cabinet, adding lots to the garage sale box. Because I need more room for good memories. Here's what changed me.

Spending time with Grandpa was so great. And we didn't need any stuff to enjoy our time together. It made me realize that the best gift he can give any of us is himself for as long as he can. After that, we'll be happy with his memories. Thanks for letting me help you get them into a form that will last for generations, grandpa.

Spending time with my parents and siblings and extended family made me miss them. And the east coast they live in. I was absolutely giddy about spending two weeks in the cold weather. I loved being able to watch my boys play with their grandparents, aunts, and uncles. Someone should move out here near us. Ben? Hannah Banana?? Dad???

Spending so much time with my kids (way more than I wanted because they slept with me) reinforced how much I love them and will do anything for them. I had several people comment on my mothering skills while traveling back home. In a good way. Each time I said thanks, but thought "I'm just doing what I need to. What are they talking about?" Looking back, I see that simply by not giving up when all of us were falling apart, I was showing them how much I loved them.

Spending so much time apart from my husband was horrible. We both decided we'd never do that again if we can help it. Grandma and Grandpa J, I don't know how you do it. I heard that song "All I Want for Christmas is You" on the radio while in NY and realized, besides the fact that I can't stand it, that all I wanted was to be home with John. I didn't need anything else. Just John.

So that's what's on my mind this December. I have my family and I don't need anything else.

Except maybe Rock Band for the Wii. And some black boots. I'm not perfect, people.

PS - I read this post today and it simply reinforced how important family can be. And reminded me of my favorite Christmas. Anyone else remember Ben sharing his pizza from Santa?

Moments in a Hospital Room

Everyone should have the opportunity to spend so much unfettered time with each of their family members. I wasn't able to spend as much time as I would have liked because of my own boys, but the time I was able spend in the hospital with grandpa was wonderful. I wanted to record some of my favorite moments so that I don't forget them.

-The incongruity of grandpa in his hospital bed, wiggling his toes under the sheets, leading a meeting. He's a CTO and isn't willing to let anything slide while he can't be at work. He'd even participated in the 3 hour Board of Directors meeting that morning. That's grandpa. Always getting his work done.

-The opportunity I had to bring him two surprise books. One, the first volume of his memoirs. It was just a test printing. Unedited and without photos. But he loved it. The other book was from all of the family. He's been writing his book for us, so we thought we'd make one for him in return. It's a simple scrapbook with a page from each of us. I loved being able to watch him read through it. Tearing up at what each person wrote to him, and talking to their pictures. I wish every member of the family could have seen it.

-All of the people and life lessons we talked about. Grandpa has had a long, storied life. I'm looking forward to continuing to read his memoirs and learning even more from him.

-Going through the photos for his book. We were labeling them so that I'd know where to put them. But anyone who knows grandpa knows that this meant I spent hours getting to listen to grandpa's stories. I loved it.

-Tucking grandpa into bed. I'm grateful for the blessing it is to serve him. He's spent his whole life serving others and I love that he'll let us give back in these little ways.

No matter the outcome, I'm overflowing with gratitude for the opportunity to spend this time with him. I love you, grandpa.