New Blog

No, keeping up with this one is enough for me. I'm posting because one of my favorite people has finally started a blog. I'm not sure how she has the time, but I'm grateful for it.

Kolette Hall and her husband Jason live a hard life. Jason has been a quadriplegic since he was a teenager. Kolette wasn't deterred when they met at the Y and they married. Several years later Jason's specially equipped van malfunctioned, causing the brakes to fail, and he spent more than a year in the hospital followed by many more years of surgeries. Their day to day life is more difficult than I can even imagine, but they somehow manage to be some of the happiest people I have ever met.

I've been privileged enough to see some of how they maintain perspective and choose to be joyful through their struggles. Go here to read their story and here to read Kolette's blog. Her first post is about "Thriving vs. Surviving".

And if you ever have the chance to hear Jason speak, GO! He is hilarious and truly inspiring.

National Cheesecake Day

Did you know that today is National Cheesecake Day? At least at the Cheesecake Factory. It's their 30th anniversary. To celebrate, you can buy slices for $1.50 instead of $6-$8. The catch is that you have to dine in and you can only buy one per customer. So our plan is to go in with some friends (and our kids), share an appetizer, and buy cheesecake all around to take home. Do you think they'll let me count Edward as a customer?

I hope you see this early enough to enjoy it!

Grateful

Today I am grateful for

-Both boys having early bedtimes, so that even when they have a hard time going down, there's still time for me to relax.

-New motivation to be a home-maker. (It still confuses me too. But we're all liking it.)

-John working from home, at least for a while.

-New friends who already feel like old friends.

-The strength to step out of my comfort zone. And to let others into it.

-Not being pregnant again. (Yea. That was scary. Maybe I'll post about it tomorrow. Maybe.)

-The knowledge that John and I are where we're supposed to be in every way. Married to each other, two kids, self-employed, in this town, in this ward, in this particular house, even arriving when we did. We completely felt led here and already know some of the reasons why. (I have to admit that it's a comforting feeling. It took us several years to see just a little of why we were in Boston. Here, it only took a few days. The Lord really does know what he's doing.)

Lesson #3

"Tile floors throughout!" is not a plus.

The Kitchen
The Living Room
The Playroom (from the loft)

They seem like they should be wonderful. They look great. They feel cool in this hot climate. But they have some huge downsides.

Even after I'd cleaned them, our feet were turning black. So I used some trial and error to find a mop that captured the dirt in all the crevices and in the deep grout lines. The mop works really well, but needing to use it nearly everyday is frustrating. Sweeping is nearly useless, although I do it to get the bigger messes. That means I mop or let Edward scoot around on filthy floors. Yuck. Maybe if I get Edward a microfiber outfit...

Then there is the problem of the pain. Yes, both boys have fallen and cried already. They'll learn to be a little more careful. But I'm talking about the pain in our feet, knees, and hips from walking on such a hard surface all day. In the playroom we decided to put down foam pads to help the kids be more comfortable (and to decrease the echoing.)

Ethan's first tower on the new floor
We do have carpet upstairs, so we at least have a soft place for our feet to get a break.

Lesson #2

Wrap your furniture.

Heres why
Luckily enough, this was an old slipcover that I already had a replacement for. Other items needed some cleaning though.

The wood furniture did not survive unscathed either. Most of it was only partially wrapped, as teasing was making some of the guys self-conscious about doing it. You can clearly see where the wrapping ended in the scrapes and dings. And of course the drawer that fell out of the unwrapped tv cabinet is completely broken. Someone make sure that the teaser's wife sees this so that their furniture survives! (We really should have asked him to deal with it or go home. It was NOT helping.)

Sorry about the rant. I'm determined to be more pushy about wrapping the furniture next time.

More Lessons to Come...

...when we can find the cord for our camera. Luckily we have a HUGE memory card in it, so we're still snapping away. But any photo we've taken since we left Boston is stuck on the card for the moment. If I don't find the cord soon, I'll pick up a card reader so that I can share with you.

A quick overview is that we're loving life right now. We have a great house, John is working from home (so he pops in to help us out a few times a day), I'm finding a new desire to be domestic (I know. Bizarre.), and we've jumped right into the ward. Except for missing our friends and dealing with the heat, life is good.

Ethan is enjoying that he has two rooms just for him! For now, at least. The boys have their own bedrooms and we've turned the formal dining area into a playroom. Ethan just loves that there is a large area for him to set up his trains where he can leave them out. His only really sad times are when we're going to a playgroup or to church and he asks if his friends will be there. I say yes, b/c he's already made new friends. So when he says "Yes! Benjamin and Julia and Aliya will be there" I have to clarify and he pouts for a few minutes.

Edward is developing by leaps and bounds now that we're on a more regular schedule. He's finally sitting up and has developed a strange little method to move forward. He has the crawling leg motion down, but just can't figure out moving his hands. So he gets up on his hands and knees, scoots his legs forward, pushes up into a better downward facing dog pose than I can do, then pushes his hands backward like he's doing a swimming start and flops forward. It's slow, and he'll only do it if things are just out of reach, but at least it's a step in the right direction.

Edward is also really into eating solids. Before we left, his dr said that he could have three meals a day if he wants it. And that he was clearly showing enough interest to try some finger foods. At six months! As soon as we introduced them, he got it. He doesn't have the pincer grasp, but he immediately figured out how to open his hand and push things into his mouth. For a while he didn't even want to be spoon fed, but a few new foods (pureed chicken and rice in particular) changed that. He gets so excited that he shakes his head back and forth the entire time. It's a messy process.

That's us for now. Once we have the pictures I'll post more.

Lesson #1

Don't forget to turn on the utilities BEFORE you move in.

Yup. We're in a hotel less than a mile from our house because we didn't know the utilities would be turned off. ALL of them. We might have toughed it out with no electricity and definitely could go without gas for a few days. It was the lack of water that did us in. No toilets with a three year old? No way. The basics will be turned on tomorrow. We'll deal with the others, like garbage pickup, sewage fees, and internet, later this week.

Ah. New house, new lessons to be learned.

Travel Updates

John has been posting audio snippets of our trip on his blog. Go take a listen!

...And They're Off!

It's official. We've left Boston. And we're feeling homeless. At least for the next week or so.

The Way Our Minds Work

John is writing again. Specifically poems in his William Tell series. (Ask him to read you a few. He gets so animated and excited.) It's clearly something that he loves doing. And it makes me happy that he's doing something he loves.

John was writing on his flight out to TX (a house hunting trip) and noticed a gentleman across the aisle doing sudoku. He looked at his notebook and had an epiphany about how he and I think.

When creating, the blank pages we use are different. John writes organically. He gets a hint of an idea, pulls out a blank piece of paper, and writes. No planning. No structure. He just writes. My mind works differently. I start with some sort of structure. Like the sudoku page.

Why? Obviously, John is very much a creative thinker and my mind is intensely logical. But there is more than that. We create in ways that feel right. That are comforting. For John, that means freedom to let things go anywhere they want. Too much structure unnerves him a little b/c he worries it won't come out right. I'm afraid of the blank page. I need to know that if I use the structure and follow the process, it'll come out "right".

Somehow this works for us. We make well thought out decisions because we're able to think about things from different angles. We're good at different things, so (as much as we can) we divide up chores, child care, and the like so that we're playing to our strengths. But I don't think we've ever realized it before. It's funny to think about how differently our minds work.

As long as I don't have to pay for it...

Ethan: "When I was a teenager I'm going to wear a teenager shirt."

Me: "What's a teenager shirt?"

E: "It's red. Like my red car."

M: "You have a red car?"

E: "When I'm a teenager I'll have a red sports car."

M: "Who's going to buy you a red sports car?"

E: "I'll buy it."

M: "You're going to get a job and buy a red car when you're a teenager?"

E: "Yup. I'll go to work and buy a red car. When I'm a teenager."

3000 Visitors!

And that doesn't count the people who use the rss feed. Who are you???

Why Are We Moving???

I had to ask myself that this morning after yet another wonderful visit with our pediatrician. I LOVE him! Today he celebrated with Ethan for wearing underwear to bed, gave hugs all around (before we remembered we'd be back next week), and gave us TWO CASES of formula! It was just another reminder to me of everything and everyone we're leaving. And a few of the reasons it's time to go.

- All of the friends we've made here over the years. We've made so many b/c of the turnover in our ward. It's finally our turn to contribute and not just miss everyone who left us behind. And we'll all stay in touch, even if it's mostly through blogs!

- Our AMAZING ward. This ward is like a training ground. It functions exactly like the Lord intended. Each member is cared for spiritually, physically, and emotionally, and contributes to the care of everyone else in their own way. Not a simple feat when nearly half your membership changes each year! We'll never be in a ward quite like this again, but it's time for us to put some of what we've learned to good use.

- The wonderful doctors I spent years finding. Literally years. Just the perfect combination of top-notch medical skill and friendship in both our pediatrician and my OB. How can I stand to leave them? I don't know. This is one of the things that I'm hating about this move.

- Boston. Oh, Boston. How we love the culture and history. And hate the traffic and city life.

- The trees of the Northeast. I've written about how much I love trees before. They just make me feel alive. I hope Austin has enough for me.

Those are the big things for me. Why I'm both excited and not so much about this move. If you ask me about how I feel, it'll depend on the day. Or minute. Right now I'm already missing our pediatrician, so I don't want to go.

For the grandparents:
I know I can't leave out how Edward's 6 month dr's appt went. He is doing great developmentally, dutifully showing the dr all of his tricks. Like holding his own bottle. And trying to roll off of the table.

Growth is slowing down, but not enough to worry. He's at 17 pounds, which is 50th percentile. Down on the charts, but so is his height. He'll hit a growth spurt soon enough. I think he may have the shorter J genes. We'll just have to wait and see!

Sleepers

Wow. My boys may be demanding when they're awake, but when they sleep...they sleep.

Ethan has always been an amazing night sleeper. Even as an infant he didn't wake up much. He hasn't been napping lately (which I HATE!), but it means that by bedtime he is so ready. His routine is short and sweet and then he's out like a light. Fabulous.

This evening we kept our big boy awake a little late. (You don't want to know why. It was gross.) By the time we kneeled down for family prayer, Ethan was curled up on John's lap. For the first time in months he let someone else say the prayer. Only a few minutes later, he was sound asleep. And he'll sleep until his clock says 7. How great is that!

Edward finally started napping on a semi regular schedule. He takes two 2 hr naps during the day, with the weird quirk that he's awake for a while in the middle of the first one. Bizarre. And at night, he's is only waking up once. We've even had one night when he didn't wake up at all!!

Our adorable little guy has some funny sleeping requirements. First, except for rare occasions, he will only sleep on a flat surface. Not in the car, not in our arms, only in a crib or (in a pinch) on the floor. Second, he needs his pacifier in his mouth. That one's normal. Third, he has to be holding on to something. A blanket, a toy, anything. He just needs something in his hand. I think it may even be his right hand, but I'm not sure. And fourth, his face has to be covered. He started this on his own, but we quickly caught on. Put him in bed, put a blanket over his head, he rolls onto his side and falls asleep.

I wish I could have taken a picture of Edward they way he fell asleep in the car this morning (again, a very rare thing). He had his pacifier in his mouth, he was holding on to his toes with one hand, and he was holding his hanging toy up against his eyes with the other. So him. He really is an angel when things are just right.

Best argument I've heard

"If you need drugs or alcohol to "have a good time," you aren't having a good time, the drugs are. They're using your body and your brain to do it, but you and your mind aren't even invited to the party." -Orson Scott Card

Photographer Shout Out

My photographer friend Liz had a photo shoot with the boys a few months ago. She did such an amazing job that it's taken me this long to decide what to have printed. (The printer she uses also does amazing work. The photos look so much more wonderful in person.) If you're looking for a photographer in the Boston area, or possibly UT if you could convince her to work while vacationing, check her out here.

Here is a very small sample of our favorites. More of Ethan b/c he's just so photogenic.

Counting

The Wink

Those eyelashes just make me melt

And our little guy, who loved having his picture taken

EDIT: The pictures seem to be visible now. I'm not sure why though, b/c I didn't get rid of the code Blogger stuck in. Weird.

Ethan's reading of the scriptures

"Once upon a time, there was a dragon and a dinosaur. They were going into the forest to find three little sticks. They needed more dragons to find more big sticks. And then there was a good dragon and a mean dragon and they were nice to someone."

I bet the scriptures would be more exciting for little boys if they were about dragons...

It's Official!

We are actually moving. Job be damned! After John spent quite a long time job searching, we decided that we need to be where the jobs are. (In the current economy, everyone is trying to hire locally to save money.) So after reviewing our options, we're going to....AUSTIN, TX!!

Yes. I did actually say I'm moving to the country of Texas. I'm scared for me too. But like I keep reminding John, Austin isn't like the rest of the state. My east coast ways may kind of fit in there. At least that's what I'm told. I've never been there! This is a giant leap of faith for me, but I feel really good about it. WE feel really good about it.

We'll be packing up the truck the last weekend in June and heading out July 1st!! If you happen to live along our route, let us know and we'll stop by to visit. We'll be going from here to DC to stay with friends for a day or two, then through Virginia, Tennessee, Arkansas, and finally northeastern Texas.

As stressful as moving our entire lives in 4 weeks is (FOUR WEEKS!!! AAAAAAAAAA!!!), we're really excited. The area looks beautiful. (They have trees! Lots of trees!) The schools are good. (Always a concern when leaving the northeast. - Yea. That's right. We're snobby and proud of it.) And we can rent a large house for less money than the average apartment out here. We won't be going larger than we need, but I was expecting to have to bend on what I wanted and I won't need to at all! Yea for 3 bedrooms, a two car garage for the extra storage space, and a fenced backyard I can watch over from the kitchen and living room!!

(Wow, this post has a lot of exclamation points. Excited much?)

Ok. Back to packing.

Loving Ethan

You may have noticed that the mention of Ethan in my last post was fleeting. He has been feeling neglected lately. Justifiably. It was part of what made our issues with Edward so hard. I would end every day knowing that I hadn't spent enough time or given enough attention to Ethan. That he was becoming more difficult because he was tired of taking care of himself. For months.

I am so proud of my big boy for holding up for so long. I'm so proud of him for daily dressing himself, getting his own snacks, playing by himself, and putting up with a mom constantly on edge. I'm so proud of him for not acting out inappropriately for attention, but simply asking for extra help and love.

Last weekend, Ethan went away for a few days. (Thanks Dad, Chris, and Bryson for entertaining him!). It's given us the opportunity to kind start over. Edward finally started sleeping during the day and put himself on a good schedule. I was able to recharge. And Ethan spent more time playing outside in four days than he had in the previous four months. We were all ready to try life together again.

What a difference! Edward is taking real naps. I'm not pulling my hair out. And Ethan has been a joy. Obviously he's still 3, so he's no angel. But because I can take a minute to sit down and explain why he can't run into the woods by the river or ram toy cars into my feet, he actually listens and obeys! (Until he's having too much fun and forgets a few minutes later. Ah, to be 3 again.)

Today was a wonderful day for strengthening our mother-son relationship.

We started with our preschool graduation picnic. We've had great days and miserable days in our mom-taught preschool and we finished on a high note. I made up little graduation certificates and loved the opportunity to kneel down, congratulate Ethan on finishing the year, and give him his first 'diploma'. It was also fun to finish by leading some of the games Ethan and his friends have loved over the year.

Later, towards the end of Ethan's nap, I was packing in the office. When he woke up, Ethan immediately wanted to help. (He is so excited about moving!) So I gave him a box and he "packed" his favorite toys. First went Buzz. Then lots and lots of toy cars. And finally blocks. Each one brought in the seat compartment of one of those push cars for beginning walkers. So dang cute!

My personal favorite today was our little tea party. (He initiated it, I swear.) We practiced pouring the tea without losing the lid of teapot. We sipped and stirred. We giggled. It was wonderful to play something that allowed us to talk and didn't involve crashing.

And finally, John was out tonight so I put down both boys. Ethan isn't thrilled about sharing a room with Edward at the moment, so bedtime can be emotional for him. He was having a hard time settling down and kept tearfully asking to hold my hand "just a little longer". After sitting back down on the floor to comfort him a third time (and becoming more annoyed), I asked why he needed me to hold his hand. Ethan looked up at me and said "Because it's so nice to hold hands, mama."

I've been worried that the very close connection I have with Edward would make the apparent distance between Ethan and I even larger. Even as an infant it was clear that Ethan would be closer to his dad than he ever would be with me. But today reminded me that we still love each other so much. That even when circumstances make it harder to maintain closeness, we aren't losing each other. Today, I couldn't love Ethan any more. What a great boy he is.

15 minutes

That's the average length of Edward's naps. On occasion I'm lucky and get 20 or 25, but not very often. How much can I get done in 15 minutes? It's just long enough to pee, get Ethan whatever he's spent the last twenty minutes begging for, inhale a snack, and MAYBE fold half a load of laundry. Not a whole lot.

And the rest of the day? Much of it is spent just feeding Edward. Although we switched him entirely to formula so that he would actually fill up and thus eat less often (Thanks John!), he'll take 45 minutes to finish his bottle. So lets optimistically say he eats every three hours or so. That's 45 min of eating, at least 15 squirming around before deciding he's tired and zoning out, another 10-20 falling asleep, and then 15 min asleep. That leaves an hour and a half when he should be awake, happy, doing his 4 month old stuff, right?

I wish. Because I'm not nursing him anymore, Edward is afraid I'm going to abandon him. In his perfect world, I'd hold him 24 hours a day. I wouldn't mind so much if he took decent naps, but... We've had to compromise. I can put him down for a while, as long as I stay within two feet of him and in his direct line of sight. If I leave that tiny zone, or just don't look busy enough to not be holding him, my ears are assaulted by the screaming. It's a new scream he's developed, just for me. Edward's strict requirements mean that I move him around from room to room, and from spot to spot, every few minutes so that I can get things done. My side of the deal? At least once a day, I get to let him scream. Yup. Maybe for a quick shower, or to eat, or to clean something I don't want him that close to. All with the wonderful screaming ringing in my ears.

Ultimately, it's working better that the previous method - holding him all day while only managing minimal housework and becoming depressed about how I'm neglecting every single aspect of my life. At least I get those 15 minutes. Three times day.