Going into this mother's day, I was concerned about how it would go. This last week I've been feeling very inadequate at home. Missing the things I was able to do before. Like making dinner for everyone. And kissing Ethan before he goes to bed. And keeping a semi-tidy house. And being able to just hang out with my boys instead of rushing through life.
I've been feeling bad enough that I've had to fight back tears a few times at work when I would realize what I was missing at home. And to stab my heart a little worse, Ethan's prayer last night included a plea that mom not have to go to work anymore.
So you can see how I was afraid of talks about all of the wonderful things moms do for and with their kids. I was not emotionally prepared to sit through discussions of all the things I can't fit in at the moment. Part of me was ready to go home early instead of breaking down in church.
It was a wonderful blessing to hear talks from both a sweet mother and our child-less relief society president. They both spoke about how it's not a fancy dinner, or a tidy house, that makes you a good mother. It's the time you give your children. And the sacrifices you make.
I've finished today with a renewed sense that I'm being the best mother I can right now. That sacrificing some of my household duties, and even some of my time with the boys, is what they need. They need a safe home and food in their bellies. They need medical care. They need me to be making money.
It's been a surprisingly good mother's day. The chocolates and chance to send Edward to nursery didn't hurt either :)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day
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4 comments:
i think most women face guilt, inadequacy and dread on mother's day. mothers or not, it's a tricky day. glad yours wasn't horrid. :)
Sunday's always get better when your baby gets to go to nursery!
Your children are beautiful and brilliant and that is an amazing reflection of YOU!
I remember hating mothers day because I knew they were going to sing "Love at Home". Hearing that song always made me feel like a loser, that no matter what I did it wasn't going to be good enough. But you know what, my kids are good kids and both because of me and in spite of me, they are doing well. Maybe I wasn't the greatest mom, but my kids all know I love them and I did my best. And at the end of the day, that's all you can do.
Glad you had a good day. :) Hope your DH finds a job soon. :)
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