Looking at that picture....

I have a hard time looking at that picture of my belly. In some ways, it doesn't look that big. But I've got nearly 4 months to go (and to grow). For comparison, my belly is exactly the same size as a good friend who is due in less than 8 weeks. And she is smaller and skinnier than I. Also, Edward is nearly always standing upright, so because most of his hugeness is still just in height, he doesn't push out as much as up and down. More uncomfortable for me than noticeable to anyone else.

The other big reason I can't look at it is that I see the destruction of my body. I miss my body. I know, I know, some of it will recover. The extra weight in places like my arms and face will burn off. But some of me won't make it back so easily. Besides the obvious over-stretching of my belly (and other areas), I see the bad curvature of my back being pulled in a worse direction. Which reminds me of the damage being pregnant is doing to my hips, pelvis, and all the connected muscles. According to my last physical therapist, a lot of this damage is irreversible. His actual recommendation was to not be pregnant ever again. Obviously, I'm just really hoping he was wrong. If he wasn't, a third pregnancy could mean spending a few months unable to walk. I'm really, really hoping he was wrong.

Maybe I shouldn't blog when I'm tired and in pain.